“Doubt it,” she grumbles. “You got your acceptance letter ages ago.”
“Yeah, but that was for a scholarship program. That’s different.”
I roll my eyes as I consider her. “Why don’t you give it until halfway through the summer and then if they haven’t gotten back to you, then talk to the community college.”
“Fine,” she groans, drawing out the sounds.
“What else is going on?”
Tully’s eyes cut away from mine and I narrow my gaze on her, suspicion instantly falling all over me. “What?” I demand as a grin plays on my lips. “You have something juicy, don’t you?”
She rolls her eyes and I’m quick to turn back to Ari. “Juicy isn’t the right word,” she tells me, “but ever since we saw Lacey at Rivers’ place…well, I’ve kind of been thinking about doing something?”
“What do you mean?”
“I was…shit. No. Don’t worry about it. It’s stupid.”
“No way. You’re not stopping there. What’s going on, Tully?”
She lets out a deep sigh and it’s clear that she’s conflicted about something, but for the life of me I can’t seem to work it out. Usually, when it comes to Tully Cage, I can read her like a map, but right now, she’s completely closed off and it’s confusing the crap out of me.
Tully leans back on her hands and considers something for a short moment before finally giving in and easing my racing mind. “I was thinking about maybe asking Lacey if she wanted to help me fix up Rivers’ place.”
My brows dip down. “How do you mean ‘fix it up?’ Like give it a good scrub or like put that hunk of shit back together?”
“I, uh…don’t really know. Maybe somewhere in the middle. I was thinking more along the lines of giving it a fresh paint, replacing the cracked glass, and shampooing the old carpets to try and get that damp smell out of it. I might put up a few curtains so you can’t see in from the street and maybe Noah would be happy to help fix the leaks in the roof so the water would stop getting in.”
“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”
“Well…yeah. I know he’s not here at the moment, but one day he will be and I don’t like the thought of him living like that. It’s so…broken. Surely that place wouldn’t feel like home to him. I just want to make it feel nice, like somewhere he doesn’t need to feel ashamed of.”
I put my arm around her and draw her into my side. “He has no freaking idea how lucky he is to have a girl like you.”
“Don’t get any ideas,” she warns. “Me and Rivers are through romantically. I’m just a friend doing something nice.”
“Uh huh.”
“Serious. He made it clear that nothing could happen between us. He even joined the military in hopes that I would be able to move on.”
“True, but don’t forget that he had other reasons to join. He needed to get away from the memory of Gina and Anton breathing down his throat. It’s not like you were the only reason he left, so you can’t keep putting that weight on your shoulders. Besides, you saw how he was when he came home from boot camp. That wasn’t exactly the image of a guy who wanted you to forget about him. He couldn’t get enough of you.”
“No, that was a man realizing it could be a very long time before he sees a naked woman again and he took complete advantage. If he didn’t want to be together then he never should have let me get into bed with him.”
“You’re saying that after all this time you regret it now?”
Tully scoffs. “No. it was fucking incredible. I mean, Rivers knows how to move his body in ways that other guys his age simply couldn’t even begin to understand. With him, it’s mind blowing. I just-”
“Come on,” I groan, cutting her off. “Can you at least try to remember that this is my brother you’re talking about?”
Tully continues as though I hadn’t even spoken. “I just hate the way I was left feeling after he got in that taxi, you know? I can’t help wondering that if it never happened, maybe it would have been easier to watch him leave.”
“Whether you slept with him or not, I have a feeling it wouldn’t have changed a thing.”
“How do you mean?”
I struggle with myself, trying to find the right words to get my point across. “With you and Rivers, it’s more than just physical. You connect on a deeper level. I mean, you’re in love with each other for fuck’s sake. When he leaves, he takes a part of you with him just as he’s leaving a piece of himself behind with you. So, whether or not you were together, it wouldn’t make a difference because it’s not your body that’s missing him, it’s your heart.”