Breathless (Merciless 3) - Page 12

With Cason behind and Eli in front, our footsteps echo in the quiet hall. At every corner, I both hope that Carter is there to stop me and pray that he’s not, so I can escape and hide away from him.

Every second closer to the door feels like it pulls on my torn heart.

Carter never comes, and that makes the chill from outside that much colder.

The peonies have died from the season’s passing, they never last long, and the pale moon is full, illuminating every bit of the path to the sleek black sedan waiting for us even though the night is still early.

As I stare up at the house, searching for Carter in any of the windows, Addison waits for me to get in the car with silent tears still falling. He’s not there. He’s not watching.

“We don’t have to leave,” I tell her softly once more, desperately wanting Carter to come out and say he understands and that he forgives me. As I do him. In every way.

For what happened in the cell. For what happened today. It’s all fucked up and there isn’t an ounce of good in any of it, but I swear I love him. And love is forgiveness, isn’t it?

I forgive him for anything he’s done. I just want him back. I want him to love me again.

Please, Carter.

But not seeing him here… Him knowing that I’m leaving, and not bothering to say goodbye or try to fight for me in the least, I know he doesn’t want me. It crushes me.

That thought is what forces me into the car, my back hitting the leather with a forceful blow. The sound of the trunk opening and the murmurs from Addison and Eli speaking mean nothing.

I don’t know where I’ll go or what I’ll do.

My skin is numb, and I can barely breathe.

How many times have I tried to run? Yet here I am, and I would give anything for Carter

to stomp toward us and rip me from my savior to throw me back into the cell.

The leather seats protest as Addison gets in and buckles her seatbelt. I talk over the click. “I love him,” I say, swallowing thickly. “I love Carter.”

She barely glances at me, her eyes red and blotchy and her cheeks still flushed from crying.

“I love Daniel too.” Her voice is hoarse as she leans her head back, resting it and staring at the ceiling of the car. “But love isn’t enough sometimes. They can’t do that to you.”

I’m ashamed at her reply. I’m ashamed that I need saving.

I’m ashamed that I allowed it and with a single moment, she’s seemingly put an end to it.

I wish I could rip my heart out and never feel love again. How easy life would be if you could truly be heartless.

Hours ago, I was in love with a man I know I should never have let near me.

And now he’s watching me leave with zero objections, and it destroys me. I’ve never felt pain and regret like this. It doesn’t matter what happened between us today; I would be feeling this tear in my soul regardless of what I’d done.

I should have known the concept of a happily ever after would never come to fruition when my last name is Talvery.

Chapter 5


She’s really leaving.

She walked away. Straight through the front door. Never would I have seen it happen that way. She was always running and hiding in the shadows. I knew she’d leave one day, deep down in the pit of my stomach, but I never imagined it’d be like this. I never imagined it would fucking hurt like this either.

Swallowing thickly and ignoring the pain, I pick up another book from the floor, a hardback of Lord of the Flies. It’s a collector’s edition and I watch as I trace the spine of it with my fingers while asking Daniel, “Did you call Sebastian?”

He’s leaning against the windowsill, but I can’t fucking watch them leave like he is.

I won’t watch her walk away from me.

“He knows already.” His voice is low, not filled with the resentment I keep waiting for him to throw at me.

For being the hard man he is, Daniel always has forgiveness for his family. I wish I felt the same.

“How is that even possible?” I ask him while placing the book on the shelf and reach down for another. Someone else could take care of this and clean up my mess, but I don’t want them to. I need to do something mindless before I deal with the consequences. Every time I bend down is another deep breath. Every book on the shelf is a piece put back into place.

I need to do this before I can deal with Jase going behind my back and everything that’s happened over the last few hours. No one will come out unscathed. No. One.

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