Nerves curled all through her, sending doubts shooting off in all directions. There was no turning back. She wanted to know, she deserved to know. She’d already lost one parent and she wanted the opportunity to get to know the other.
She had no clue why her mother hadn’t just come out and told her who her father was or why she didn’t state his name in the letter. Perhaps she was trying to save him after all this time or maybe she was ashamed of her past. Paisley truly had no idea and she might never know her mother’s reasoning. All she knew was she was about to meet her father at long last.
Paisley climbed the porch steps and glanced to the homey wooden swing on the opposite end. With a shaky finger, she pressed the doorbell and stepped back to wait.
The click of a lock and twist of the handle had her pasting on a smile and ready to face whomever was on the other side of that door.
A middle-aged man with silver hair and kind eyes stood on the other side of the glass door. The second his gaze locked with hers, his brows shot up, his mouth dropped in surprise. He quickly opened the door.
“Paisley?” he asked, his tone laced with uncertainty.
She nodded, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her. “Jeb Smith?”
He didn’t confirm as he gestured her to come in. “I thought after your husband came by, you might follow.”
Paisley stepped into the foyer and stood awkwardly as he closed the door behind her. When he turned to face her once again, he smiled and a piece of her fear melted away.
“Come in and sit down,” he told her. “I—I don’t even know what to say or...maybe I should get you something to drink?”
Paisley laughed. “I’m fine. I’d say we’re both nervous.”
He stared at her another minute before shaking his head and blowing out a sigh. “You’ve grown into such a beautiful young lady.”
“It’s been a long time since someone called me a young lady,” she replied with a slight laugh. “But thank you.”
He pointed toward the arched doorway. “Let’s go into the living room.”
She stepped into the cozy space and took a seat on the sofa as Jeb carefully eased himself into a worn recliner. Paisley’s fears returned.
“Are you all right?”
His eyes snapped to hers.
“Sorry,” she added. “It’s none of my business.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he stated, resting his arms on the edge of the chair. “As I told Lucas, I have a heart issue that’s messed up my way of living. I’m tired easy. I have a caregiver that comes in a few times a week to help around the house and get my meds. I’m just...not quite as spry as I used to be.”
Heart issue? Paisley crossed her ankles and leaned forward in her seat.
“What can I do to help?”
Jeb shook his head. “Unless you’re a miracle worker, there’s nothing that can be done. I’m...terminal.”
“That can’t be,” she cried. “I just found you.”
Then she remembered what all Lucas had said.
“But you knew about me all along, didn’t you?”
Jeb nodded. “I did. Lynette and I weren’t necessarily a couple. We dated a few times, but never anything serious. I kept getting laid off work so when she said she was pregnant, I did what I could financially, but it wasn’t much. I’d hoped she’d find someone who could provide for you both, but she never did.”
“You didn’t want me, though.” The words hurt, but she came here for answers.
“I wasn’t fit to be a father,” he corrected. “I’m old enough now to realize I made mistakes where you were concerned. I thought Lynette would find someone and start a real family. I guess I thought if I just paid her what I could and left her alone, you both would be better off.”
Paisley listened to him, and had she read this in a letter or email, she’d be furious and assume he was merely making lame excuses. But she heard the remorse in his voice. She could tell by the way he looked at her that he had regrets.
She had a few of her own.
“If I had to do it over, I’d fight to see you, to be part of your life,” he added.
“Lucas said you had photos of me,” Paisley said.