As Jonas opened his mouth to speak, I raised my hand to silence him. His expression softened even more, and I could have sworn I saw a twinge of regret in his hazel eyes until he blinked. He stepped forward again, causing me to step back. The sudden motion sent a wave of nausea rolling over me.
Even in the midst of all that, I stupidly stared at him with such longing. It hadn’t been just one night I needed to force myself to forget, but rather all the weeks that lead up to it. He’d said and done all the right things, making me fall so completely in love. I actually considered changing colleges to follow him. It hadn’t been the only stupid thing I’d done. In my head, I’d planned our entire future together from marrying sometime between our junior and senior year of college to having three kids: a boy and two girls.
Maybe I am crazy. I’d seen and planned for a future he never intended to give me. All of his actions and words had been nothing but lies. They were levels to the game he’d won, and it didn’t matter what he’d taken from me as long as he emerged the victor. Looking back at it now, our entire relationship had been one sick and twisted game, and I’d been nothing more than a pawn. The legend of his brother’s reputation would be succeeded by Jonas, and when I ended up plummeting to my death, no one else would ever be able to top him. He’d be that high score others in the arcades strived to beat, but never came close to.
A sob escaped me even as I wobbled angrily on me feet. “I t-trusted you,” I managed to get out between shallow breaths. It was an understatement at this point, but all I could audibly voice. “I hate you,” I added seconds later.
“I’m sorry,” Jonas said, finally speaking despite my desire for him not to.
“Sorry?” My voice elevated just before I released another sob. “You are sorry, but as a person, not for what you’ve done to me.”
Hyperventilation got the best of me as my anxiety reached its peak. Another wave of dizziness passed over me, and I stumbled. Frantically, I tried to grab on to anything. Jonas, probably having seen my current state, rushed to my aid. I held on to his arm, but I refused to look into his face. God, how I wanted to, just so I could memorize it one more time. He was so fucking beautiful, but I knew it’d only hurt more. Instead of sneaking a peek, I closed my eyes and savored the feel of his arms around me, knowing they’d never be there again.
Even that moment, like every other one between us, was short-lived because what felt like mere seconds later, I was being pulled away from him. Everything else happened in a blur and I slipped into unconsciousness, only coming to when in the back of the ambulance with my worried mother by my side. It’d be the last time I’d see the Houston skyline as the ambulance rushed me to the hospital, but then again, I’d already known that. It was also the last time I’d see the boy who made me dream, only to viciously rip it away.