“Yes, and it was a train wreck. Dad rearranged my schedule twice this past week, then took me golfing on a long dinner break. He bought us two sets of golf clubs, and then he got so frustrated that he ended up hurling one of the clubs into a pond.”
“Did he really?”
Lucky nodded. “He’s pretty hot-tempered and finds golf as annoying as I do, and yet he’s making me go again next week. He keeps saying it’ll grow on us.”
“Well, hey, at least you’re getting to spend some time outside and away from the office.”
“Your optimism is adorable, but it’s August, and I’m in Florida. It was about a hundred and fifty degrees, with three thousand percent humidity.”
“It’s nice that you’re not prone to exaggeration.”
He chuckled and said, “Okay, so I may be rounding up slightly.”
* * *
We spent the next couple of hours just enjoying each other’s company, before we finally decided it was time to get dressed and head to my house for dinner. It was our turn to cook, but instead of stopping for groceries, Lucky cheated and placed a huge order at his favorite Chinese restaurant. We picked it up on the way home, so both of us were juggling cardboard boxes full of takeout containers when we walked in the door.
I’d texted Lark with a heads-up about dinner, and he and Dylan met us in the foyer. Dylan took the box from Lucky and gave him a one-armed hug as he said, “Hey, man, good to see you! Lark decided to set the tables on the patio for dinner, since it’s cooler outside now than it is in here. Come on back.”
Since communal meals had become a weekly feature at the pink Victorian, Dylan had built a pair of picnic tables which we kept positioned end-to-end. Tonight, my brother had set them with colorful rainbow placemats, a mishmash of dishes, and a row of mason jars which held flowers from the garden. He’d completed the look with about fifty flameless candles—lord knew we had plenty from the wedding—and he’d also turned on all the twinkle lights in the yard, so the whole thing looked beautiful.
Owen was exploring the backyard dressed in a cute little shorts set and sandals, with JoJo keeping an eye on him. As soon as he saw us, he shrieked with delight and ran to Lucky, who scooped him up and exclaimed, “Hi there, buddy, I missed you! I swear you’re bigger than you were last week.”
In addition to our usual group, part of our extended family had joined us for dinner. I introduced Lucky to the couple and explained, “Casey’s a pediatric nurse. He used to work with Yolanda, and he also rented my room at some point. Now he lives with Theo, who’s a doctor, and the two of them are in the process of opening a community pediatric clinic. Even though the clinic’s not officially up and running yet, Owen’s been its first patient.”
Lucky’s brows instantly knit with concern. “Was the baby sick?”
“No, he’s been fine. I’m just talking about his regular wellness checkups. At the most recent one, I found out his height and weight are right on track for his age.” Lucky looked relieved. Then he turned to Theo and Casey and began asking them all about the clinic, which they were more than happy to discuss at length.
Soon we all sat down for dinner. Owen was right beside me in his high chair. I cut up a few things I thought he’d like into kid-size pieces, then watched him as he sampled the different foods and reacted to them with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
Meanwhile, the conversation around the table was light and upbeat. I looked around at my found family, and this wonderful feeling of contentment washed over me. Then I caught a glimpse of Lucky out of the corner of my eye.
He didn’t know I was looking at him, so he hadn’t bothered to school his expression. What I saw made my heart ache. He just looked so wistful. I knew he loved being here, and he’d become good friends with my household. But that was just one more thing to miss when he was gone six nights a week.
Sure enough, as soon as I turned to look at him, Lucky flashed me a big smile. I rested my hand on his thigh and kissed his cheek, and he leaned against me and said softly, “This is a perfect night.” I wished I had the power to make every night like this for him. The fact that I didn’t made me feel pretty helpless.
* * *
We all lingered over dinner, and then Lucky and I took the baby upstairs. We read to him and helped him build a block fort for the next hour, until it was bedtime. After I got Owen changed and in his crib, Lucky sang him the most beautiful Spanish-language lullaby, and he drifted right off.
I turned to my boyfriend and gathered him in my arms as I asked, “Do you want to join our friends? It sounds like they have a heated game of charades going in the living room.”
“In a little while. Right now, I just need you.”
We took off our shoes and curled up together on the bed. As I brushed back his hair, I asked, “Are you alright? You were quiet over dinner.”
“I’m fine. I just miss you and all of this so much when I’m gone, but I don’t want to let that cast a shadow on the time we have together.” He put his head on my chest, and I stroked his hair as I held him.
After a while, he continued, “Sometimes, when I’m sitting at my desk at work, I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s claustrophobic. My office is all sealed in and air conditioned, and the windows don’t open. I’m being ridiculous, because it’s not a small, confined space. But I just feel so…”
I finished for him. “Trapped.”
“Exactly. I also feel guilty, all the time—guilty for not being here for you and Owen. Guilty because I just can’t get excited about the company. Guilty because my dad’s so happy I’m there, but all I can think about is how much I want to be somewhere else.”
“I’m so sorry, Elian. I wish I could help somehow.”
“I know, mi amor, and I really don’t mean to dump all of this on you.”