“Why’d you say only the first half hour was great?”
“Because after he gave me a blow job, I fell asleep. I didn’t wake up until right before you texted me.”
That made him grin. “Well, damn. That must’ve been a good BJ.”
“It was. I wouldn’t normally fall asleep like that though, but I’ve just been so tired.”
“That’s because after the baby goes to bed every night, you stay up late and try to get a bunch of stuff done. No wonder you’re tired.”
“I have to stay up,” I said. “It’s literally the only time I have to myself.”
“If you want a few hours to get stuff done during the day, just ask me or Dylan or JoJo to watch the baby. One of us usually has time.”
“But Owen’s my responsibility. It means a lot to me that you’re willing to help, but it wouldn’t feel right handing him off on someone else all the time.”
My brother sighed before saying, “We’re your family, Logan, not just some random people who happen to live in your house. We want to spend time with the baby, because he’s our family, too.”
“I know. I just feel guilty when I take time for myself. I worry, too, when I’m not with him, even though I know he’s in good hands. It’s like, as soon as I became a parent, guilt and worry just took over my life.”
“Well, I’m glad you’ve started going out on Saturday nights, even if it’s only after Owen falls asleep. You definitely need that break,” Lark said.
“You’re right, I do.”
“Are you going to see Lucky again?”
“Yeah, same time next week, if you or JoJo can babysit.”
“For sure.” He glanced at my profile, and after a moment he asked, “Was it my imagination, or did things seem a bit awkward between you and that guy at the end there?”
“It was. In fact, I was surprised he asked me to come over again next weekend.”
“What do you think caused it?”
“Well, I told him about Owen, and then he told me he’s moving to the other side of the country in a couple of months, and I guess neither of us really knew what to say after that.”
Lark muttered, “Aw, what a bummer.”
“Why do you sound so disappointed?”
“It’s obvious you like him, so I’m sad for you.”
“How is it obvious?”
“You lit up when you saw him, and the rest of the world disappeared, including me,” he said. “At the same time, he went out of his way to make you laugh, which says a lot. That all makes me think it could have turned into something special.”
“Yeah…not that I was looking for a relationship or anything.”
“Dylan wasn’t either, until he met me,” he said with a grin. “I think that’s usually when relationships find you, when they’re the last thing you’re looking for.”
“Well, not in this case. He has obligations in Miami, and I have other things to worry about, like raising my son.”
“Right, but it’s not an either-or. Your choices aren’t raise Owen or date and try to find yourself someone. You could do both.” That seemed unlikely, but I didn’t bother arguing.
When we got home, I went straight upstairs and checked on Owen, who was sound asleep. We’d decided to keep his crib in my room this time, since Lark and Dylan’s room was right next door. Both doors were open so they could hear him, and it was probably overkill, but Dylan was also listening in on the new baby monitor. In other words, Owen had been looked after extremely well in the few hours I was gone.
I thanked Dylan as he handed me the monitor, and after we said good night, he and Lark went into their room and closed the door. I brought the monitor with me to the bathroom while I got ready for bed, finally shutting it off when I was under the covers.
Owen had slept through all of that, and I watched him as I settled in. He looked like such a perfect little cherub in his new footie pajamas—another gift from his doting uncles. They were sky blue and printed with clouds and cute flying Pegasuses…or whatever the plural of “Pegasus” was.
After a while, I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. Not surprisingly, I wasn’t all that tired, after taking a huge nap on Lucky’s sofa. It had been nice of him to let me sleep, and that was even before he knew I was parent-of-an-infant tired.
I’d gone to bed in the T-shirt he gave me. I ran a hand over the cartoony dragon before pulling the shirt up over my nose and taking a deep breath. Lucky always smelled so good, and I could faintly pick up his scent in the material.
As I thought back over every (waking) moment of our date, a smile spread across my face. I was mad at myself for falling asleep and missing out on so much of our time together, but at least I’d get to see him again. I looked forward to that with every part of me.