Chapter 23
My legs were sore, and I was pretty sure I had sawdust in my hair, but I was more content and blissful than I had been in the last week. I reached up in an attempt to calm my wild hair, and Grant placed his hands over mine. “You look beautiful.” He always seemed to know what I thought before I could say a word.
I knew for a fact that I was a mess after what we just did, but it’s sweet he thinks so, so I left it.
Grant found his shirt and put it back on, and I didn’t even try to hide my stares. “Remind me to thank Beau next time I see him.” He laughed softly and came back over to me, placing both hands on my hips.
After a brief moment of silence, I felt reality sinking in. My smile drifted away, and I wanted to find myself irritated at the situation. Grant must have picked up on my mixed mood because he began stroking the side of my temple with the backside of his pointer finger.
“Come home with me, Hart. We don’t have to have it all figured out tonight.” He was right; we didn’t. I could just follow him back to his place easily, and we could roll around in his sheets till I forgot the world around me. But I shouldn’t. I was in love with a man who refused to have a relationship with me, and I knew the more I put into it, the harder it would be when the break eventually came.
“Tonight might not mean anything to you, but it means everything to me. I like you a lot.” More like I’m so in love with you that I spend every waking minute thinking of you. “I can’t just be your little friend you call everytime you want something physical, Grant. I don’t do this kind of thing.”
His face turned to sorrow while he held me. “Hart, you don’t understand. In case you ever forget, I am never not thinking of you. You have run through my mind every day since I saw you climbing those stupid paint cans. I tried to stay just friends with you, but I can’t. I don’t know how to stay away from you anytime we’re in a room together.”
With tears threatening to spill down my cheeks, I nodded my head; he was right. We gravitated toward each other like two magnets, and it would always be inevitable. I would always want him as long as I was around him. If anything, having the last week apart made that more apparent.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Hart. I haven’t been capable of a relationship since—” He cut himself off and sighed, “in a long time. And yet, since that damn store, all I’ve been able to think about is your pretty brown hair laced through my fingers. It’s driving me insane.”
I was unsure of how to react. I was confused and still so incredibly turned on. I couldn’t be forced to make the right decision. His hands brushed the sides of my face, providing comfort laced through his words.
“Look, I know it’s messed up. I know that. But please don’t make me figure all of this out tonight. Let’s just have tonight, just you and me, and then…we can take it day by day.”
I knew my best option was to tell him no and go home, but I wasn’t in the right headspace, and my heart, and my lady parts, were in control of my brain. On the other hand, I began to think of what would happen when Grant finished the house in the next week. Would we go back to being strangers and pretend this fling never happened? Deep down, I knew I could never think of Grant as a stranger, his mind was wrapped around my heart, and every time he was near me I felt it getting tighter and tighter. Then if this was my last night with Grant…
I just nod my head slightly and whisper, “Okay.”
∞∞∞
I decided that I was so spoiled by waking up next to Grant that I didn’t know how I would ever go back to my own bed. With my head on his chest and his hand resting on my lower back, I was at complete peace. Regardless of the dark cloud looming over our relationship, I was content at the moment with him.
I looked up at him, and his eyes were shut, his mouth slightly agape. He worked till about eleven last night, and neither of us slept till maybe two a.m. I turned my head to his windows and saw it was still dark outside, so it must be early.
My brain began racking and overthinking, and I figured it would be best if I left.
I slowly unraveled from Grant’s grasp and quietly grabbed my clothes and shoes to head out the door. I quietly made my way down to the kitchen so as not to wake him up. I felt a little guilty not saying anything, so I wrote a small note on the mail envelope on his counter.
Sorry to leave, but I just need to get a few things done today and I can never focus around you. Text me.
I left a small winky face at the end of the message to lighten the mood. Leaving him there felt wrong, but it was true, I couldn’t focus on anything when he was near me, and I needed to process some things without us being on top of each other.
I hopped in my car and headed to my apartment to realize I’d left my purse at the house, so I decided to stop by there on the way. I checked the time on my phone, and it was five-thirty in the morning, meaning none of the workers should be at the house yet, so I felt comfortable turning down my street.
Well, drat. There was a white Toyota Tacoma in the driveway. I knew it was Beau’s, and I had to prepare myself to face his commentary about leaving my purse here.
The plan was to walk in the back door quietly, so I could slip in and out without having to hear his dirty jokes. However, I opened the back door to Beau leaning against the kitchen island, my purse right beside him, and an all-knowing grin running across his face.
I eyed him. “You’re here early.”
“Touché. You forgot your purse last night before going to Grant’s, huh?” I scowled at him.
“Why are you here so early?” I knew Beau was usually the last one to the job site.
“I had to meet someone early this morning to sign off on a delivery at another site, so I came here right after.”
I nodded my head and reached for my purse, ready to leave. But he grabbed the handle and moved it further away.
“Come on, Beau, I’ve got stuff to do.” Like go home and recreate everything that happened last night in my dreams.