I'm confused. What would make her think I need her to check in with me? She’s associated with the family, at the end of the day. I don’t know why or how, but she’s just as bad as the rest of them. I won’t deny that I appreciate her taking care of me, but I know better than to trust her.
"Sit down," she says, gesturing to my bed as if I'm the guest in the room.
I comply, looking up at her hesitantly. She remains standing, watching me carefully. I wait, wanting her to say something first, since this was her idea.
“How have you been feeling mentally? I can imagine everything that's happened recently has your emotions all over the place.”
"I'm doing okay." Which isn't the truth, but this is all fake formality until I can figure out why she’s here.
"Good, good." She nods.
I study her, warning bells going off in my head. There's something different about her posture and the way she keeps wringing her hands together.
She's nervous.
When she was treating me there was a confident air about her that let me know everything was going to be okay. Even when Giovanni threatened to kill her if Vito didn't live, she didn't look this antsy.
But I don't push. Whatever she came here for, she won't leave without making her point.
Her lips twist to the side before she clasps her hands together and paints a strained smile onto her face.
“So, I just had some pills I wanted to give you," she says after a moment.
She turns, reaching for her bag. I can see the corner of her lips twitch downward before popping back up.
Turning back around, she holds out a little black pouch to me. I grab it, frowning as I pull out the silver sleeve within it. The little white pills inside aren't bigger than a mint. I slide them back inside before returning my gaze to the apprehensive doctor.
"What are these?" I ask her.
She looks away from me. "Just some vitamins for you to take every day," she says, her gaze dipping to the floor briefly. She reaches over for her bag, preparing to leave.
My eyes narrow and as my heart beats a little faster in my chest, I know she isn't going to give me a straight answer. And frankly, this is the last thing I need. Everyone else walks over me and orders me around, but the doctor...
Something in me snaps.
I snatch the bag out of her hand, her eyes widening as she stares at me. I hold up the little pouch.
"What in the hell is this?" I ask, keeping my tone even.
Her lips purse and for a moment she doesn't say anything, the silence heavy between us. Finally, she lets out a sigh and shakes her head slightly. "I'm sorry."
"What is it?" I repeat, my heartbeat going even wilder.
What in the world is the doctor sorry about?
"You have to understand," she says, holding out a hand that I back away from. "I do my job here. I help save lives and I hand out the medication that I'm required to. I don't ask any questions. I can't ask any questions."
My hands tremble, but I steady myself. I look at the pills again, pulling them out of the sleeves. This time I notice the small things, the days of the week at the top, the way the rows are sorted, and how the last row is yellow instead of white.
My stomach turns as the answer comes to me, but I still repeat my question, needing my suspicions confirmed. "What is it?" I raise my gaze to the doctor's.
Her shoulders sag. "Birth control."
My eyes close and I take a deep breath. Giovanni's threats from breakfast ring through my head and my knees go weak.
…So don't say I don't pay you when I could easily have you lying on your back every night for chump change.
He has to be making good on his threat. I’ve been here for months and all of a sudden, he’s going to force me to take birth control? No, this isn’t random.