“You did care for her,” Tessa told him.
“Care for her?” David repeated. “I didn’t know her. Christ, I can’t even remember what she looked like.”
“But you think about her.”
“Every day of my life,” David admitted. “I think she might still be alive if only I’d tried to help her. She was desperate. Young and pregnant and afraid of her fathers wrath. I should have done more for her. I should have cared enough to marry her, but I didn’t. I believed in love. I didn’t care enough for Caroline to offer her a home and accept her child as my own.” He looked at Tessa. “I didn’t care enough to sacrifice my freedom, and I wasn’t there when her parents turned their backs on her and shipped her off to have the baby all by herself.”
“Why should you have been there?” Tessa asked him. “You weren’t the baby’s father. You were innocent. She lied about you to try to help herself, so she obviously didn’t care about you. Why should it matter so much to you?”
“Because no one should die believing she’s been forsaken,” David said fiercely. “I saw too much of that on the battlefield.” He turned to Tessa. “Don’t you see? She trusted me to do the right thing.”
“She used you,” Tessa corrected, “hoping you’d feel responsible. There’s a difference.”
“It doesn’t matter,” David said. “It doesn’t change anything. Caroline Millen is dead. Senator and Mrs. Millen are alone. And somewhere in an orphanage back east, a little girl with my last name feels she’s been abandoned.”
“So?” Tessa asked him, ignoring his look of outrage at her seeming heartlessness.
“What do you mean, ‘so’?”
“If you feel that way, what are you going to do about it?” Tessa demanded.
“What can I do about it?” David asked. “I’m not the baby’s father.”
“But you want her.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Then find her,” Tessa ordered. “Bring her home.”
“I can’t take care of her by myself,” David admitted. “I don’t know anything about babies or little girls. And do you really think I could find a woman to take both of us on, a half-breed Indian and an orphan?”
“Why not?” Tessa told him, her eyes sparkling with emotion. “You did it. You were willing to take on a redheaded Irish girl and an orphan boy when no one else in town cared.” She reached out and placed her hand against David’s cheek. “I’d take her,” she told David. “I’d love her, and I’d never let her go.”
David looked down and met Tessa’s earnest blue-eyed gaze. He moved his face against her hand, then pressed his lips against her palm. Looking at Tessa, he knew he felt the same way. He didn’t intend to let her go. Or Coalie, or Lily Catherine, either. He wanted them all.
He hoped he could find a way to win them.
Chapter Eighteen
“It’s time.” Lee rapped on the glass pane in the back door after midnight four nights later.
David sat at his desk completely dressed, overcoat and all, waiting. As he’d waited every night since their talk at the Satin Slipper. He heard the knock, picked up his gloves and boots, and tiptoed to the back door. He slipped outside and sat down on the wooden step to pull on his boots. “I’m ready,” he said to Lee when he finished.
“Let’s go.”
David turned to lock the back door, then pulled on his gloves. Tessa lay inside sleeping. He hated leaving her alone, unprotected, but he had no choice. He had to see for himself what Lee was investigating. David followed Lee down the dark alley where two horses waited.
“How far is it?” David climbed atop his mount.
“A couple of miles outside of town,” Lee replied. “I’ve been watching the place for about a week now.” He looked at David, guessing his feelings. “You should be back well before daybreak. You won’t have to leave Tessa alone too long.”
They rode in silence until they reached Lee’s obs
ervation point. Lee hobbled the horses before leading the way. David fell into step behind him, crouching low to avoid detection. The chill air made breathing difficult, talking more so. They reached the crude shelter and crept inside, waiting.
David sat on the frozen ground and wrapped his arms around his knees, pulling his long legs up against his chest for warmth. He flipped the collar of his coat up around his ears and covered his nose and mouth with his dark wool scarf. Lee followed suit.
“This shouldn’t take long,” Lee whispered. “It’s too cold for them to want to linger outside. The mail train was robbed yesterday outside Laramie. They’ll come here to divide the cash.”