“Paige, you graduate next year. Two years ago was very different. You’d barely turned twenty-two and were at the start of your sophomore year. It’s very different and not uncommon for students to hook up with their teachers. I… um did.”
My damn mouth drops, and I stare back at her as if she just slapped me. “How come you never told me that?”
“It wasn’t college. It was… back in high school. I didn’t know you back then, but I’m sure I would have told you my biggest secret at the time.” She smiles.
“Megan, how old were you?” I blink several times and steady my breath.
She bites the inside of her lip. “I was sixteen.”
God, I swear Megan’s going to tell me something someday that will straight up give me a heart attack. “How old was he?”
“Forty and super-hot.” She winces with a little smile.
“Oh my God,” I breathe.
“I know. He taught history, and I loathe that subject. He started tutoring me, and one thing led to another. He broke up with me because it was …wrong. And it was. It was fun while it lasted, and I accepted that.”
“You just accepted it?”
“I had to. I was hurt, of course, but I knew he was just doing what was right. I kind of think he really did have feelings for me but any plans to get together would have gone to hell. He left the school shortly after.”
“Did you ever look him up?”
She shakes her head. “No, I knew not to do that, plus I think Mom suspected there was something going on between us. I didn’t want to cause trouble so I left it alone. I think my time with him was an escape from the shit I was going through at home with my stepdad. Many things I did back then were an escape. He hated having me around. Life was shit from the minute he married my mother, and Mom was always taking his side when we argued. I couldn’t do anything right, so maybe that was my way of seeing comfort.”
“I’m sorry.” I gaze at her and really think about what her life must have been like prior to meeting me. She’s always had this adventurous personality. I don’t have to take psychology to know that people like that don’t like to be repressed in any way.
“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to make this about me. My situation is very different to yours. I’m telling you this so you don’t feel bad. My situation was worse in some ways because of my age. You guys are both adults.”
“James will get fired if someone finds out what happened.” I state with dark dread.
“And how is anyone going to find out?” she counters.
I shake my head. “I’m not saying anything, and you won’t either, but I’m scared someone will look at me and know what we did.”
“Stop for a moment and breathe. Think about how you’re feeling. Let’s take the worry over his job out of the equation and tell me how you’re feeling about him.”
I run my hand through my hair as I remember everything. “Megan… I’ve never been with anyone like that before. He danced with me like he wanted to consume me, then every time we had sex, it was wild and crazy, needy.”
She smiles wide. “Oh my God, what do you mean by every time? How many times did you do it?”
My cheeks burn. “A lot.”
“Fuck…”
“Yeah, that sums it up. But on a serious note, it doesn’t matter what I think. It’s a risk. He’s my professor. I know better than to want more. What I should be worrying about is this thing at the club tonight.”
When Megan drops her gaze on a comment like that, looking away with uncertainty, it’s time to worry. The lunch was already planned, but she started talking about making a cake in an extra attempt to cheer me up when I told her about the message.
She looks back to me. “I’m working tonight, so at least we’ll be in the same building. Just think of that.”
“I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I can go to this room tonight and see some guy I know I’m going to have to sleep with. Not after last night.“
I can’t imagine being with another man.
Megan clasps her hand over mine and doesn’t say anything. She just holds my hand. I actually appreciate the gesture more than words because there’s no pep talk for this.
* * *