She seemed fine with it and even said she should talk to him too.
This all feels like it’s happening, and I want it more than anything, but my fucking conscience is coming for me again. There are too many reminders of why I thought my decisions of the past were valid.
I’m dressed and ready to go.
I’ve been dressed and ready for the last half an hour, but I’ve been sitting on the edge of my bed staring at the little keepsakes box I keep under my bed.
I set the box on the bed, opened it, and I’ve been staring blankly at the contents.
There’s a lot of my grandfather’s stuff inside, like his medals of honor that were given to me after he died, there’s a Swiss army knife and pair of binoculars he always kept with him, along with some other stuff he gave me, and there’s the little black velvet box containing the ring I was going to give Jia.
Pulling in a deep breath, I reach for it and open it. The ring greets me, sparkling bright with a twinkle. It’s a little oval cut diamond set on a gold band. It still looks like her, still feels like it should be hers. As I look at it, I hate that it’s not hers, and then I wonder where I’m going with this.
Thirty days?
Really? That was just to get a chance with her. The chance to make her fall for me again. I know she has. The same way she must know I was already there with her.
So, I must want more than thirty days if I’m going through all this trouble.
I do want more. I want this… I hold up the ring and look at it.
I want her wearing this ring.
To do that, I think it goes without saying that I’m going to have to come clean about my father. I’ll have to tell her that what he did and that that was why I broke up with her.
Again, it’s the question of how and when to do it.
This won’t be like telling Ethan I’m involved with his daughter. It’ll be a million times harder than that.
I’ve never told anyone except James, and I never planned to tell anybody else.
Just like always, though, Jia’s the exception to the rules.