I want him to know about us, but not like this.
Shit. I forgot he had a key to the house. He and James have keys, just to check in on the place when I’m not here. Or rather when I wasn’t here.
I guess it’s reasonable to think, though, that my absence must have caused worry.
So maybe it is Wednesday, and if that’s the case, then no one’s seen me since last Friday. Shit.
“What do we do?” Jia whispers.
“Don’t worry. Stay here.” I slide off the bed and grab a pair of joggers and my old college sweatshirt. I have to look like I was busy. Not busy with his daughter. Something else.
I fix my hair and glance at Jia before I leave the room. She looks embarrassed, and I feel bad for putting her in this position again.
I leave and head downstairs just as Ethan comes out of the kitchen.
He’s in his suit and looks like he was going to a meeting. He’s had a trim and shaved so he looks sharper. The stern look on his face as he sees me reminds me of when I was sixteen and crashed his car. I tried to hide it. That was a big mistake. I’m almost twice that age now, and Ethan is giving me the same look.
“Son, where the hell have you been?” he snaps and looks me up and down.
“Um… oh, I thought Gina told you. I had some stuff to sort out here for… Mom.” I’m a prick who’s going straight to hell. I used to always play the wild card by using Mom when I was younger. I saw this man’s love for my mother, and in my wild teenaged years, I used to take full advantage.
It worked every time until it didn’t and he started to see through my bullshit. Like now.
“What stuff? Paul, is it the kind of stuff that makes you unreachable? The sort where you don’t answer your phone for days? It’s nearly been a week since I last saw you,” he barks, and I get the sinking feeling that when I thought it was Wednesday, that was bad, but not so bad as what I think it might be.
“No, it just feels that way. Ethan I just saw you the other day.” I grin trying to shrug it off, but he shakes his head at me.
“Paul, it’s Thursday. We had meetings. I had meetings with you, we had meetings with clients. Why on earth didn’t you call me personally and tell me you’d be away?”
“Oh God…” I bring my hand up to my temple. “Jesus, Ethan, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’ll sort stuff out now.” I better fucking do it. I don’t want to mess things up or take advantage more than I have.
“Tomorrow first thing, we meet. Finish sorting out whatever it is for your mother.” He gives me a knowing look, then he turns to go but freezes when his gaze lands on something. I follow, looking at what he’s looking at, and see it too. It’s Jia’s handbag. There’s no mistake about it that it’s hers. It’s a black leather bag with pink piping going around it.
Shit.
Ethan recognizes it. He does. It’s obvious he does or he wouldn’t be staring.
Jesus Christ, what now?
He turns back to me with narrowed eyes and looks from me to the bag, and when he glances up the stairs, I wish for the ground to open now and swallow me. I gear up to tell him that what he thinks is right. Yes, Jia is upstairs, and yes, I’m with her. No, I’m not like my father, and I’ll take care of her and make her happy.
I gear up with everything that would make up a profound apology, but the question doesn’t come.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he simply says then continues on his way out the door.
As it clicks shut, the breath I was holding on to releases into the ether and I draw in another one.
I make my way back upstairs and find Jia wearing my shirt. She’s cleaned herself off and her hair is up in that sexy messy bun.
“I thought he might come up, and I can’t find my clothes.” She winces and brings her hands together.
We look at each other and start laughing. Not loud, just a light laughter. Laughter at ourselves.
I cup her face and study her, relishing her beauty.
I have this woman locked away in the dark, away from the world, and I don’t know why.
“I’m sorry,” I say.