She moans with the music, and he moves up to her, his cock completely erect as he plunges into her body and starts to fuck her hard.
I watch the scene of complete pleasure feeling my own nerves tingle and sizzle.
When I look away, I catch sight of a young couple making out against the wall by the bar.
They look young, like college age. The girl pulls away and hands the guy something that shimmers against the club lights.
It’s the silver coin you get here on arrival. The tradition here is, you give it to the person you want to spend the night with after you take off your mask, revealing yourself.
Paul and I used to get them just for the fun of it. It was part of the fantasy. Over the years I’ve been coming here, I’ve accepted many coins, but I’ve never given mine away.
All my coins were for Paul, and while I’ve tried to move on, the thought of giving someone my coin doesn’t feel right.
I watch the couple. They remind me of us. It’s clear from the way they touch each other and look at each other that they didn’t meet here tonight.
They look like they’re in love and so into each other that everything else fades away. They’re in the fantasy.
My heart squeezes when they move away from the bar and head toward the fantasy rooms. Where they’re going is the secret entrance that takes you to the end of the corridor but beckons you to continue and see what fantasy you might like.
Paul and I used to go through that way all the time.
Allowing my body to guide me like it did to get me here, I move to go.
I walk over to the entrance of the passage and move through the flow of glitter that sparkles over the black velvet curtains hiding the way.
Memories flow into my mind like ghosts haunting me with images of the past of the guy and the girl who were their own fantasy. Me and him.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to forget that. I don’t know how he did it so easily. Effortlessly.
I continue on. Maybe to truly forget and move on, I have to face the past and remember.
Maybe then I can let go.