30
Eric
Ijump in my car, and I drive like a fucking mad man. When I get to my apartment, I curse myself for living in the fucking penthouse.
I rush inside and head to the terrace to find Lyssa standing by the glass doors with tears pouring out of her eyes and I think the worse has happened.
For the first time in my life, I feel afraid. I’m afraid to ask her what happened because I don’t want her to tell me I’m too late.
“She’s on the ledge, Eric,” Lyssa says quickly. “She won’t come down. I can’t get her to come down and come back inside. I’m so sorry. I tried everything.”
“It’s okay. Go inside and wait for me.” I summon strength from the last traces of my heart and take one brave step outside onto the paved surface.
When I look down the length of the balcony and see Summer standing on the ledge my heart tumbles in my chest.
She’s standing there with her long brown hair billowing in the wind and her bright brown eyes brimming with sorrow and pain.
I should never have left her. I should have told Borya to get the fucking computer and bring it here.
I just thought she’d be okay for a few hours. But a few hours did this.
I look at the woman before me who stumbled into my life and as she turns her head and looks back at me, I see what was afraid to see.
I’ve never just felt desire when I look at her. There was always something more. Something that fascinated me because I liked watching her and she was the one thing I’ve happened upon since I’ve been back in the world of the living that I imagined myself looking at forever.
To see forever it meant seeing some kind of future that didn’t involve death.
My death. My penance. My purgatory for my mistakes.
What I see now as I look at her is the path to my redemption, and maybe hers too. All I know right now as I gaze at her is if she jumps, everything I ever wanted goes with her.
I take another careful step and move closer to her, hoping she doesn’t jump before I get to her.
I stop when I’m inches away and keep my gaze trained on her.
“Baby, please come to me,” I say, and she shakes her head.
“No. This is it. This is the answer. You don’t need me to find Robert. You can find him.”
“That’s not why I want you to come to me.”
“It’s the end of the road for me Eric. Too much has happened, and I can’t take anymore. You see this?” She shows me her wrist with the little Carpe Diem tattoo.
“I see it.”
“I never needed to be reminded to live. Scarlett thought it was a good idea. We got it when we were eighteen, but you see by then all sorts of things had happened to me. She tried though. She tried to fix it. Tried to fix me. But some broken things can’t be fixed. I’m one of them.”
“I don’t believe that.”
She smiles at me. “You’re sweet, did you know that?”
“Summer, please come to me. Baby, we can talk all you want, just not here.”
She shakes her head again. “I can’t go with you.” A tear runs down her cheek and she wipes it away. “It was drugs.”
“What was drugs?”
“That’s what sent me to Club Montage. I was an addict in recovery and months before I worked there, I relapsed when I saw my stepfather in People Magazine. I got in trouble with my dealers when I couldn’t pay them for the drugs I took, and they threatened to kill me. That’s how I ended up at the club.” She stops talking for a moment then continues. “My stepfather is the governor of New York now as you probably know. He’s a man most revere for his work with children and young adults, most notably his work with the young women’s charities. There’s a reason he loves working with young women so much. They called my monster Man of the Year. If they ever knew what he was really like I don’t think they would call him that.”