18
Eric
Iwas never supposed to feel like this.
Fucking hell…
I knew as I went over that line I was never supposed to cross that I was going to screw myself over.
Being with her is like touching raw wildfire and I got burned because now I feel like I’m fucking addicted to her and I don’t know how to stop myself.
She fell asleep a few hours ago and left me like this. In this strange contemplative state where I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
I’ve been sitting by the window watching her sleep and feeling myself slip away.
Women are a dime a dozen to me, but I meant what I said last night when I told her she intrigued me. She does, and now I find myself wondering more about her. More about her story and what happened to her. I know it’s something more than the recent shit with Robert. Every time I’m with her I see it.
It was clear from the instant we met. I was just in business mode and I all wanted to do was kill Robert. Now that I’ve more than tasted her, I want to see deeper under the layers of that thick skin she shows everyone and see her scars.
Emotional scars from the past that change who you are and never heal like the physical ones. They’re always there. Always there in the mind suffocating the body.
Even now as I look at her asleep in my bed I can tell her life changed long ago and she lived a very different life to her sister.
People who are fighters become that way because they have to. They’re pushed to and quite often it’s because they’re thrown right into the deepest end of the ocean, and they have to swim or die.
That’s what I see when I look at Summer and why I keep asking what sent her to Club Montage. The shitty thing about it is, she would have still been there if this thing with Robert didn’t happen. Clearly, she didn’t belong there. I could peg her as being the party girl who would definitely go to Monaco and be on some rich bastards arm as eye candy, but there’s no fucking way, she’d go near a sex club. Unless she was going with a guy she was in a relationship with.
There’s the obvious need for money, which I get. But she had a sister she could have turned to, and a rich as fuck stepfather. I exclude her father because I don’t think she would have gone to him for anything after he blamed her for her mother’s death.
The only thing I can think of is what I thought of before. That she must have needed a fuck of a lot of money. So why couldn’t she turn to her stepfather who was married to her mother for years?
I can’t think of any woman who’s similar to her who would rather sell her body than turn to family for help in their greatest hour of need. Unless she didn’t think she could. She also never mentions her stepfather. Not that we’ve spoken at great length about anything personal.
I just thought she might ask to contact him too and let him know what had happened to Scarlett and even the funeral. My answer would have been no because the less people who know the better for the moment, but the odd thing is she didn’t mention him at all. Her father didn’t mention him either when I clarified the details for the funeral.
As the sun spills into the room it signals it’s time for me to get my ass in gear and get back to work.
The lead my men and I are currently checking out came about after my meeting with Luke the other night. I tasked Borya with looking into his affairs. Yesterday he discovered Luke wasn’t just working for Robert. The asshole was also working for Micah too as a middle man.
I asked Borya to continue investigating. He messaged again during the early hours of the morning when I was with Summer, letting me know he was following something up. I’m currently waiting to hear from him.
At least things seemed to be moving. Although still at a snail’s pace for my liking, they’re moving.
As the sun’s rays creep through the window Summer stirs in the bed. Her eyes flutter open and when her gaze lands on me she looks startled for a few moments then she calms.
“Expecting to see someone else?” I ask.
“No, I always feel disorientated in the mornings.” She glances at the clock and frowns. It’s just gone five. The sun will be up in full bloom soon. “Especially this early. How come you’re up?”
“This is what time I wake up Babydoll. Sometimes I get up and start the day. Sometimes like now, I like to sit and watch.”
“Were you watching me?” she narrows her eyes.
“Yes. You look good in my bed.” I grin. The devil riding my shoulder wants this friction between us. It’s like a fucking mating dance. “You look good asleep. Peaceful. It’s the one time I see you like that so I wonder what happened to you before Robert, before this.”
“Nothing happened to me,” she replies defensively.
“You expect me to believe a girl like you just ended up working in a sex club? That didn’t just happen by chance.”