47
Aiden
Iwalk into the living room where Aleksei is watching t.v.
There’s some kids show on that I can’t quite place. It looks like transformers but it’s not.
He looks at me and offers a kind smile. I know he’s still nervous around me though.
He looks it. I wasn’t sure is he saw me kill Jude. I’m near enough certain he did and even if he didn’t see me he heard me.
It wasn’t something a child should have heard. Neither was seeing his grandfather’s murder. Much as I planned to kill Jeshero, I hate that my son had to witness something like that. I don’t know what scars it might have left on his little mind.
“Olá,” I say first, saying hello in Portuguese.
That’s the other thing I’ve had to get used to. he speaks three languages. Portuguese seems to be his main language which is understandable after living in Brazil for nearly ten years. Next is Russian and English.
I speak eight languages. All the men in my family do. Portuguese being one of them.
“Olá,” he replies.
I ask him in Portuguese how his days was and while he’s telling me Irina comes in and looks at us.
“I don’t know what you guys are saying,” Irina states with a laugh.
Aleksei smiles. “Sorry. I can speak English or Russian if you want me to.”
“Speak whatever language you feel comfortable with,” I answer and Irina nods.
“Listen to your papa, he’s a very wise man.” Irina chuckles and leaves us.
I notice the awkward expression on Aleksei’s face every time reference to me being his father is brought up. Especially since I’ve told him to call me Aiden.
I would be an idiot if I didn’t understand it must be weird as fuck for him right now and I shouldn’t make things harder.
I stride over to him and plant myself next to him on the sofa.
“You don’t have to call me dad,” I say. “I know it’s going to be hard. So you do whatever you feel is comfortable for you.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry I’m trying to be okay. I miss my grandfather. It was horrible the way he died.” His little face contorts with sadness and I remind myself of the things I decided.
I’ll never tell him what his grandfather did and I’ll never make him hate him.
When he’s old enough he’ll have questions because certain things won’t make sense. I’ll tell him everything then, including my part in the past.
“I’m truly sorry. I know he loved you.” I know at least that’s true and I don’t have to feel like I’m lying to him. “I know you loved him too.”
“I did. He took care of me.”
“I know he did. It’s going to be hard to feel better, and it will take time, but I’ll be here to help you.”
His gaze clings to mine.
“Thank you. he told me my mother died in a fire. Is that what happened?”
“Yes. I tried to save her, but I couldn’t.”
“You saved me from that man.”