“Yes. Now tell me what the book is really about.”
I sigh and decide to tell him. “It’s about a spy in WW2 who was framed for murdering the person who hired him. He couldn’t prove his innocence because the guy who had all the proof was dead. So the story is about him trying to find out who set him up.”
“That sounds really good. What’s the book called?”
“The Reckoning.”
“And when will this book be published?”
I stare back at him realizing we’re having a normal conversation again. He’s been like this for the last few nights. Not like himself, and feeding me glimpses of the man he is inside.
Now he’s staring back at me waiting for an answer. I wonder if he realizes for me to publish the book I can’t exactly be locked away in his tower, like some princess.
He has to let me go.
The other day when he told me he couldn’t let me go, I realized there was no point asking again. I have to either come up with something else or hope he finds what he needs to and sets me free.
The waiting and worrying about Mom in the meantime is eating away at me. Killing me slowly.
When I start to feel panicked I keep reminding myself that Jude must be somewhere looking for me. I’ve been kidnapped so Mom is safe.
That’s my mantra, and what I have to believe as the days go by. I don’t want to think about what could happen if everything falls apart.
“One day,” I decide to tell him.
“Well, you should pursue your dream. Life’s too short to do something you don’t want to do, or wasting time wishing you were doing what you love.”
“I agree. Are you doing what you always wanted to do?” I’m sure he is, but I thought I’d ask anyway as we’re having the conversation.
“I don’t know.” His lips twitch into a smile. “I think I’m assuming a role that fell on me. I was into computers. I just never did the right qualifications. But I can hack most systems. I was too wild for a classroom. But that’s just the kind of thinking that got me in trouble.” He stares ahead. “In trouble with people like the Order.”
This man is a closed book most of the time. I’ve wanted to ask him about what happened to him in regard to the Order and how he came to work for them, but I didn’t want to risk upsetting him.
Maybe I can ask the question now though if he’s throwing me a bone.
“You were an enforcer for them.”
“I was foolish and selfish. I should never have agreed to do anything for them. My mistakes cost me my wife and my child.”
My lips part and I understand it all now. He never made it sound like he did something to make them punish him.
“That’s what happened?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry for me. I got what I deserved.”
“Nobody deserves something like that.”
“I did.”
“I don’t think you did.”
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m a good man Olivia.”
As I look at him I see pain and guilt in his eyes. It compels me to reach out and touch him.