Chapter Forty-Three
Candace
“I have an idea for this show,” Emelia declares.“I want to put it together next summer when Lorenzo is older.”
“Whatever you do, just make sure you ease back into work slowly.It can be daunting being a new mom,” Isabella tells her.
They came to pick me up for a late lunch/ early dinner.I only agreed to go with them because it beat worrying myself to death in the house.
We’ve been sitting in the pizzeria for the last hour, talking and eating.Well… they’ve been eating, and I was listening as they spoke.My Sicilian based margherita that would have normally been devoured by now is still sitting in front of me untouched and now cold.It smells amazing and looks divine, but I'm too worried to eat.
While it’s great to catch up I don’t know how Emelia and Isabella can be so calm when their husbands are running into the line of danger.I’d say they have practice, but that’s not true.They don’t actually have more practice than me.I’ve known the guys longer and I’m the one who’s used to them living one day to the next not knowing if it will be their last.
It’s just that this is the first time that I’ve worried so much.
It’s taken me days to calm down as it was after seeing Lucas and hearing the bullets that took his life.
All I needed to do though was think of how my parents suffered because of him, my father’s brother.
The shocker though was learning he was implicated in everything else, and with the state's attorney.
Here again is another example of high society getting their hands dirty.I would never have guessed that a man like the state's attorney would be so filthy though.
Never, and the way I heard it, he’s planning a campaign to run for governor of California.I wonder what will happen now.We don’t have any evidence against him for anything and the way everything was set up there’s no way anyone would get it.
I guess it’s left to be seen and I won’t know what’s going to happen until we hear from the guys.
Isabella places her hand on mine and looks at me.
“Don’t,” she says shaking her head.
“Don’t what?”
“Think so much,” Emelia says and the two look at me.“It won’t help to think too much, because it will make you crazy.”
“It’s better to stay busy. Keep distracted,” Isabella adds.
“You'd think I would know that by now,” I sulk.
She shakes her head. “It’s different Candace.It’s going to feel different for you because of Dominic.Of course you know what to expect, but he’s only been back for less than a month and he’s been gone for two years.You just got him back and you don’t want to lose him.”
She understands completely. “Yeah.”
“He won’t want you to worry,” Emelia offers.“None of them will. I remember when Massimo went out one night and I didn’t think I was going to see him again.It’s not all the time you can be calm.I’m by no means calm now. I’m trying and hoping my guy comes back to me.It’s harder that we don’t know what they’re doing.”
I nod and glance at the clock on the wall it’s four fifteen.Whatever they were going to do must have happened already and now we just have to wait.
“Try to think positive. This whole thing started with our fathers.I still feel disgusted by that,” Emelia continues and Isabella nods her agreement.
“Me too,” Isabella chimes in.“That’s the kind of grief that will never go away.I want this to end so it can just be about who we are, not who we came from.I want us to be able to shape our own futures and not have to watch our backs.That’s what our men are trying to do for us.So take courage in that, Candace.”
I give her a little smile, feeling a bit stronger.“I will.”
“Do you want anything to drink?” Emelia asks.
“No, I’m gonna splash my face with some water and come back and eat.”
“I’ll order you another pizza so you can at least enjoy it, that one is going to taste weird cold.” She juts her chin toward my pizza.