Those were things I kept in the dark because I knew it would draw attention to me, and what was happening to me.
What's going to happen next?
Warm hands smooth over my shoulders, and I look up to see Dominic.I was so lost in thought I never heard him.
"Doll, come back to bed," he mutters and I stand.
I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep, but I'll lie in the bed so he doesn't have to worry about me.
We lie next to each other and as he takes me into his arms, I wonder if he ever guessed what was going on with me.There were times when I would look at him, and I hoped that maybe he would know.
Then I realized he never noticed me.So how would he see what I needed him to see?
I was the immature thirteen-year-old, and he was the badass fifteen-year-old boy all the girls wanted to get with.It was always the same so only God knows how it is I ended up here in his bed.Only God in heaven must know what stars had to align to make this man look in my direction and knew I existed on the same planet he lives on.
There was always someone better than me.Someone prettier than me, someone who didn't serve his family.
Helen wasn't joking when she said women put the D'Agostino brothers on their wishlist.I was well versed in that, and it was my misfortune to fall for one.
Morning dawns and sleep never came.
Dominic gets up and insists on cooking for me.He tries to joke, but it doesn't work.At least I'm not crying anymore, though.
He stays with me all morning, then a call comes through that takes him away and Cory is tasked with watching me.
After lunch, Isabella and Emelia come by to see me with their babies, and I think seeing them is what set me off again on that wild train of thought.
I love them both, and the kids too.I consider them to be my closest friends, but I think maybe deep down a part of me resents that their men did so much to be with them.I watched Massimo and Tristan both fall viciously in love with their wives.I was there for all of it. There at their weddings.There at their children's birth, and still here watching them love their wives every day.
Yet, I had to suffer so much just to get attention from Dominic.Me, the Stormy Creek rat.
Isabella and Emelia don't stay for long, which I'm happy about, but I feel even more shitty than ever when they leave.
When the worries start filling my head again I find myself heading into the living room to the cabinet where Dominic keeps his best drinks.
I’m not a drinker, in fact I tend to steer clear of liquor because I’m such a lightweight.When the memories hit though sometimes a glass or two of something strong helps me forget.
I open the glass doors and reach for the scotch first.Of course, a man like Dominic has all the good stuff.
Pouring myself a glass of the dark amber liquid, I knock it back in one go.It burns my throat and I cough trying to clear it.I swallow past the burning sensation and savor the light buzz that fills my mind.It’s working, I can feel it already giving me that mindless mellow merry sensation people crave when they drink.
I close my eyes and allow myself to feel it, relish it.When I open my eyes again I prepare another glass.That one knocks the memories from my mind when it starts to take effect.I have to think hard to remember why I was upset.
I pour another glass and drink and another until I find myself drinking from the bottle unable to remember when I decided to do that.
When Cory comes into the room to check on me he blurs from my vision but I note the concerned expression on his face when he sees the bottle in my hand.
“Candace are you okay there?” he asks.
“Peachy,” I bubble.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have any more of that.”
“I’m fine Cory. Why don’t you just go away?Busy yourself with something else or someone else.”
He raises his brows. “I don’t think the boss would like that very much.Do you want me to call him?”
“No. Why? He doesn’t own me. Nobody does, even if he thinks he does.And, I don’t fucking need a babysitter, so you can fuck off.” I can honestly say I’ve never spoken to him like that before, or anyone.I never would.