“I know, I just… it’s just shit. It brings be back to point one. I don’t know how to be that guy she needs. She’s been weird with me since yesterday and I think it’s because we haven’t talked about what we’re going to do.”
“Josh, this is bullshit. You don’t pussyfoot around shit. Do you want the woman?” he asks.
“Yeah, I want her.” But what do I do if she doesn’t want me?
That’s the thing I’m not asking myself because that’s never happened. I could be here sitting on my thoughts thinking the ball’s in my court when it might not be. She said she wasn’t feeling well last night, so I left her alone. She went home, and it was the first night in weeks that I had away from her. It was the strangest feeling ever. What if that was just her way of starting the distancing process?
I’ve never even done that. Giselle would be the first though that would hurt me if she didn’t want me because I’m the playboy prick who wanted to own her body.
I’m the playboy prick now who wants more than that. I want the rest of her.
Heart, mind and soul. Everything. The missing pieces of what I already have.
“Josh, this is a no brainer. You know what to do. Tell her how you feel. I think it will be okay if you did. You talk and lay the cards on the table. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about it. Take back control, man.”
Yeah, he’s right. This situation has knocked me off kilter and made me go soft.
I know what I want and I’m going to make it happen.
She’s in my office doing the files when I get back. The plan tonight was to finish up here and end the night at my place.
She hasn’t said anything about that though and she’s still sporting that cautious expression she had earlier.
It’s close to seven and most of everyone has left the building.
She smiles at me when she sees me and I reach for her, slipping my arm around her tiny waist.
“Josh, we should finish here,” she tries to protest. When she looks at me I see the dimness in her eyes and the slight pink tint like she’s been crying.
“What’s wrong with you, baby?” I ask her, and she studies me.
She shakes her head and brushes her fingers over my chest. “It’s nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I’m still not feeling myself.”
I catch her face and lift her chin toward mine so she can look directly at me.
“Baby, do you remember when we first met, and I told you that I watch?”
“Yes… I remember.”
“Good girl, so you know I can tell when something’s up with you. I knew from last night, but I could tell too that you wanted to be alone. I can tell now that as much as you want me, you’re doing something you’ve never done before when it comes to me.”
“What?”
“Resisting me. You’ve never done that, baby and I don’t want you to start now that we only have a few days left here, working together.” I mentioned it like that before I want to ease her into what I have in mind for us better than that.
Now that I don’t have the job to worry about, I want to focus on her. I want to focus on her and I plan to deal with Dad later. But only if I get the chance.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” I prod and I’m shocked to shit when a tear runs down her cheek.
I wipe it away but another comes. She gets that one.
“I had a run in with Riley.”
“You what?” Jesus Christ, I’ve gone from mellow to psychotic in seconds. “What did he say to you?”
“Josh please… don’t get upset. He just pointed out a few things I think I should have been aware of and I wasn’t.”
What the fuck did he say to her?