She came to my world. Now I’m going to cross over to hers.
“Come here,” I say beckoning her to my lips for a kiss I savor, the way I savor her.
Chapter Thirteen
Giselle
Rachel and Jia are smiling at me.
They lean over the table at the coffeehouse and they’re listening to me babble on about Josh.
I’m listening to myself too. They’re intrigued and hanging on to every word I say.
I feel like I’m talking and I know it’s me who’s talking, but it doesn’t feel like me. Months ago when I first felt the signs of me slipping over this invisible line of fun with Josh, I reigned in myself and tried to focus.
Focus on my job and focus on cont
rolling my emotions. The thing I learned though about emotions is that it gets to a point where you can’t just keep them on a leash. You can only restrain them for so long, but your true feelings come out, eventually. Mine did yesterday and now I’m eager to see what Josh has planned for later.
“Giselle,” Jia begins with a bright smile on her face. “I’m gonna say that I love this. I really do. You’ve changed, and you’ve become this woman who is willing to push the limits. It’s a good thing.”
Rachel nods her agreement and raises her coffee cup like she would a wine glass.
“Here, here. I agree and I’m proud,” Rachel says. Her eyes twinkle with delight.
It’s nice to see my friends happy for me, even if there actually is nothing concrete to tell them. I’m just excited about later and that feels nice. It feels good. It means I’m healing. It means I moved on from Kirk and he doesn’t affect me anymore.
“So, any idea at all what you guys will be doing tonight?” Rachel asks.
I shake my head. “No. I have none. He didn’t tell me what to wear so I’m at a loss. He said to meet him in the park by the lake at eight. And as per usual he told me to go home early.”
They look at each other and smile.
“I can’t figure it out,” Jia states. “Maybe he’s thinking of some new ways to have sex or prep you for your club spree later.”
They both start to giggle. I thought that too and decided I wouldn’t hurt my brain trying to guess. I’m going to wear something nice. A little skater dress that’s smart casual. That should work since when we get to the club we always end up naked in either the suite or the playroom. I christened that room after he first took me over the edge in the playroom because that’s what it felt like to me. A place for us to play around with each other with fantasy adult toys, and my have we surely played. That man has done everything to me. things I would never even dream of or know was possible.
More than that is how I feel when I’m with him. He’s the fantasy and the man who I trust to take me on whatever wild adventure he conjures up.
Jia straightens as an idea seems to have hit her. “What if it’s dinner?”
I smile at the thought of that. “Dinner?”
“He said the river right. There’s some beautiful riverside restaurants. It’s gonna be something like that. I bet it is.”
“That means outside the club,” Rachel adds and wiggles her brows.
My breath stills. The thought of Josh wanting to see me outside the club and work is unreal.
We went to the club last night, and he seemed different. More attentive. It was the first night where it wasn’t just about sex. We talked more. I remember talking, then I fell asleep. Usually I’d get lost with him inside me and wake up like it too.
This morning when I woke up in his arms, he held me there for a little longer.
Jesus… am I allowing myself to get in over my head with this man?
“Outside the club would be nice. I won’t start thinking up stuff though. I shouldn’t,” I state. It’s time to do that reality check. I shouldn’t jump from A-Z, open my mind to new possibilities and then it will be my fault when it doesn’t happen.
I do wonder though… if maybe it could be more.