Rachel looks from me to the negligee, lips parted the same blood red color as the piece of garment Josh wants me to wear later.
I say piece of garment because the whole thing is just lace. Lace and it’s crotch less.
See-through lace gathers the top with then flows down the bodice. The only thing that’s not see-through is the ribbon trimming the edges, but really does that even count.
I sigh and throw myself down on the sofa.
“Rachel, what the hell am I getting myself into?” I ask her because really what am I doing. This is five days in and look at me.
What sort of relationship is this where it’s just so physical?
She smiles at me and joins me on the sofa.
“I know it’s crazy but I like it. I like this for you because it’s so wild. You’ve never had this. Fuck, I’ve never had this and I’ve done a lot. Trust me, just go with the flow.” She nods with firm determination.
“Go with the flow and what if it leads me somewhere I don’t want? He’s just so unpredictable and I… like that.”
“Why is that so bad?” She gives me an incredulous glare.
“It’s bad Rachel because we’re two people meeting up for sex and there feels like there’s something more but I know that realistically there isn’t. It’s not real. It’s physical and nice and adventurous and I’m experiencing all the feels you get when you get into a relationship, but it just feels so out of control. What happens when it burns out? He’s used to this, but I’m not.”
She looks at me and studies my expression.
“You do like him…” She points out with a little smile.
“Yeah, I do. It’s just nice to be adored, and it’s nice that he wants to know me.” I like it when he starts asking me questions about myself.
“That’s a good thing. It shows he’s interested in more about you past the sex.”
“It is just sex though and I think the next three months are going to be very interesting.”
“Sure, but those parts are the foundation for anybody even if this is fun.”
“You know… the little time I’ve spent with Josh is so much more effective than all the time I spent with Kirk. Kirk barely wanted to do what I wanted. I think he thought I was boring from the beginning.”
He hated my classic films and anything to do with law. He hated that I was so academic, but I think what he liked was the look of me. That’s it. He jumped ship the minute he could do better.
“What’s important is this exploration, no matter who you’re with.”
I nod, agreeing. The exploration is something I’m liking. It was, however, hard talking about Dad today like it always is, but it’s worse talking about Mom.
I’m glad Dad thought I barely remembered her long before he died. The truth was, I remembered all there was to remember about her, and I still do, including the day she left us. I was nine and I remember her getting in a car with some man who looked like the rough stuff who threatened to kill Dad and then they drove away. That was it. While Dad and I never spoke about it, I knew what happened. Mom was pregnant when she left us. As I grew older, I did the math for myself and knew she cheated, got pregnant with that guy's baby and left us. I never saw her again and never heard of her. I don’t mention her so me just even mentioning her today to Josh was unlike me.
I could see it though that he would have asked about my mother if we were talking about my father.
“I’m crazy,” I chuckle when I see her watching me. “You probably think I’m crazy. I’ve known this guy for less than a week and here I am doing the worrying thing, ready to shoot myself in the foot because this whole attachment of ours is based on wild sexual fun we have while living out our fantasies at The Dark Odyssey.”
She shakes her head. “No. I don’t think it’s crazy. You just see something you like and want it. there’s no harm in that. we’ll unless your me and you’re still just as crazy over your dad’s best friend as you were when you were five.”
My jaw drops. Right… so that’s what’s up with her.
I would have guessed if I’d known Dante was back in town.
I know this story and it’s not a good one because I have no idea what to advise her when it comes to Dante Lombroso; Rachel’s dad’s best friend, who is twenty years older than her.
He’s also about to get married.
“Rachel…” I begin and my voice trails off when she looks at me with huge sad eyes.