Her shoulders slump, and she looks me over with sympathy.
Dad had stage four pancreatic cancer. He saw me graduate; he saw me pass the bar exams and all my academic achievements. He saw that at least, but he never saw me make it this far. He got sick after I passed the bar and I took some time out to take care of him. I wanted him to see me make it as a lawyer, working in an actual firm of such prestige.
I was going to surprise him with my letter of acceptance to Tanners but he died in hospital while I was on my way to see him. I thought he was getting better, but from what the doctors said it was clear he’d held back on telling me that there was no hope.
I wipe away a tear and she pulls her chair closer so she can reach across the table and take my hand.
“Giselle, I’m sorry. Hearing about your father will always get to me. It makes me value mine, although ninety-five percent of the time he works my last nerve.” When she pulls in a labored breath, I know something must have happened prior to her coming here. She frequently has run-ins with her father. It’s because they’re both as good as each other and I think secretly he wishes her brothers could be as good as her. “You are not alone and you are not lost. Like I said, I’m here for advice and I think I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want to do.”
My breath stills. “So you’re saying I want to screw my boss.”
She laughs. “I’m just going to be blunt… don’t you? Or rather, didn’t you? I saw him and he was hawt Giselle, I can’t imagine what the man must have looked like without the mask. My point is this is weird, but it’s wild. It’s the wild you wanted.”
“God, I didn’t think it would be this wild. Rachel this is crazy. Last night was last night, but this is work. I can’t be some… mindless slave to sex at work. And it’s like… well… I’ve never met anybody like him before. He just told me what to do. He didn’t even ask me anything. He demanded, and has this air of control that just makes me…”
“Want to submit?” she gives me a salacious smile and embarrassment floods me when I nod.
This is how I’ve always been with her. Jia is close to me too, but she’s a little too much for me. We all became close in high school, but I’ve known Rachel the longest.
“Well… men like that are a little different. This is definitely not going to be like Kirk.”
No, I already knew that. Kirk spent his every waking hour trying to master the ar
t of football. Josh seems to have spent his every waking hour mastering the art of how to provide maximum pleasure.
Just from the look of him you can tell he knows his way around the female body. He did things to me last night and made me feel things I didn’t even know could be felt.
“What should I do, Rachel?” that’s the question of the moment.
She smiles, but she gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “I think he likes you and you should explore this. it’s a nice surprise and one hell of a coincidence. I think you like him too, and you should definitely keep an open mind. Sometimes we can just have fun. Meet people for fun.”
“What about work?”
She laughs again. “For you Missy, I think work and play will be the same things for the next three months. Enjoy it, but… if you're that worried why don’t you just talk to him about it. Make a few demands of your own. That’s what I would do if it were me. There would be no way on earth that I’d allow a man like that to slip away from me. It’s so much the better that he wants to play at work. Come on Giselle, a little fun with a gorgeous man will not harm you. Will it?”
I try to bite back a smile, but it comes out anyway. “Maybe not… but it’s just weird. It’s different.”
“It’s sexy and confident. Daring.” She nods. “See where it goes, but… only if you want to.”
I’m noticing how she’s not saying anything in the way of my discomfort. Again, that’s because she knows me. On this occasion she seems to know me a little more than myself.
She seems to have already factored in that I won’t allow my discomfort to take precedent over my curiosity.
That’s what takes me right back to the club for the second night in a row.
Curiosity.
I admit though that there’s a little something else that I don’t want to acknowledge, because when I do I’m a goner.
It’s desire.
I’ve never felt it like this before and in such a way that it makes me forget reason and logic.
Then again, maybe I just think I’m forgetting reason and logic. Where does it say that the wild, reckless way I’ve been with josh isn’t within reason or logic? It’s me. It’s that part of me I was trying to push aside to bring the sexy out and the confidence.
I’m great at work but socially no.
Tonight though, I may just shock myself for night number two.