Colby froze.
Viera ignored us as she started playing with the damn dragon on the counter, or at least I thought she was ignoring us until she piped up, “That’s cool, Ben, I pray that too. ’Member they cuddle.”
Thank God my phone started buzzing in my pocket and someone knocked on the door because I didn’t know how to respond to that. This was all so new, and the way Colby and I were interacting felt like there was something growing between us, something we both wanted. But how would that even happen? How did parents who were actually married even navigate a relationship with kids around? My heart broke and my chest hurt. I had no answers for them, not when I didn’t even have any answers for myself.
“Hey, talk to your dad anytime you want, bud.” I ruffled his hair and kissed him and Viera on the forehead, then approached Colby while the knocking intensified at the door.
“Have a good day,” she whispered.
“You too.” I awkwardly stepped forward and pulled her in for a lame hug, then hesitated, only to have Colby give me a quick hug that I wanted to last a hell of a lot longer than two seconds. The knocking intensified.
“Coming,” I finally yelled, and I went to the door, jerking it open.
Heather stood there with a cup of coffee in one hand and a small bag in the other, her smile widening as she looked me up and down. “I’m surprised, no ketchup or Cheerios present.”
Why did that feel like an insult? And why was she suddenly coming by when she knew I’d see her at work?
“Is there something wrong at the office?” I asked, frowning.
“Not at all.” She shrugged. “I was just in the neighborhood and decided to drop off some much needed caffeine and food for you—it’s a quinoa breakfast burrito with turkey sausage!”
I could imagine Colby getting stabby eyes behind me. She was a food blogger; while she couldn’t cook worth shit, she sure as hell knew her food.
“Thanks.” I took the food and coffee and then looked over my shoulder.
Colby had gone still, her face pale as Heather looped an arm in mine. “I Ubered here, why don’t we ride together to work?”
I’d always imagined myself with a woman like Heather, and we’d even gone on a date forever ago, but there hadn’t been any spark. At least not for me. And I’d thought not for Heather either. So why was she here?
“Have a good day!” Heather waved at everyone with a happy smile, and then we were shutting the door, and I was feeling like a weak-ass human.
Why was I even letting her lead me anywhere?
I shook my arm away. “We aren’t dating anymore, remember?”
Her face fell a bit, her eyes narrowing. “Oh, sorry, I was just being friendly. Besides, just like we aren’t dating, it’s not like those are your kids, and you’ve been doing nothing but spending time here.”
I saw red. “It’s been less than a month since their parents died, and you want to bring that up now?”
Her face fell. “I didn’t mean anything bad. I’m just saying this is temporary, this whole… pretend-family thing. It will be easier for you to process that now rather than later. You know, once you jump back into the dating scene again, get your own place, it will be super easy to share custody and all.”
She sighed and waited at the passenger door, oblivious to the anger I had simmering beneath the surface.
I calmly opened the door for her and then walked around and got in behind the wheel.
We drove in silence.
I gripped the steering wheel like I wanted to pull it free and toss it out the window, and she texted as if this were her future.
By my side.
In my expensive car.
That future flashed before my eyes. Society events with her well-connected family, moving to a mansion, nannies.
Everything that had seemed normal—even achievable—at one point, and now, I wanted the mess.
I wanted the chaos.