Kat
My eyes open slowly, feeling gritty and stuck together. I grimace. Crying always does that to me. I tried to keep it quiet. I didn’t want Ronan to know how his words got to me.
But he knew. And he held me close, kissing my cheek gently, reverently. It felt good. It felt like for the first time in my life, a man wanted to care for me more than he wanted something for himself. Like I mattered.
God knows John never made me feel that way. Even sexually we were so different. Talk about wham, bam, thank you ma’am. That was him. I need a little more warm-up than that so I rarely felt anything.
But I thought it was just me.
Now I’m not so sure. Because all of my nether regions throb just being close to Ronan. He doesn’t even have to do anything so when he does touch me I think I might explode with about fifteen years of repressed sexual tensions.
I want him. And I’m not really ashamed to say that. I’m just not sure what he sees in me. Considering the steel pipe that was pushed into my ass at various times last night…I’d say he feels something for me. Even if it’s just attraction.
I think we can build on that if we’re honest with each other. John never was. I have no idea how many times he cheated on me. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just that last time when he got caught.
My hand reaches out, searching for Ronan. I jolt up when I feel nothing but cool, satiny sheets. I push my hair out of my eyes and blink slowly, searching the room. It looks cool and organized. Almost untouchable. Just like the man, I guess.
I scrunch up my nose and nibble at my lip. Where is he? All my insecurities rear up and dance through my head. He didn’t feel anything for me. Didn’t want to be around me this morning when I woke up in a strange bed by myself.
And worst of all, maybe he regretted the sweet words he said when I confessed John’s duplicity.
It’s like a bath in ice-cold water. Shivering and wrapping my arms around myself, I stand up and tiptoe over to the door. Reaching for the doorknob, I suck in a breath.
What if he’s not here? What if he cancelled the minister? He changed his mind? I’m too much trouble. I’m not pretty enough. I’ve got too much baggage to make a new start. He’s not interested enough to try to win me over.
Ugh! I scream in my head. Just open the fucking door. It won’t be the end of the world if yet another man dumps you. At least with Ronan you haven’t been together for ten years, waiting for him to decide that he’s ready to marry you. Then watching him fly off into the sunset after another woman, leaving you standing there holding your purse and feeling your heart sink to your toes.
My fingers shake as I reach out to pull the door open only to squeak, jumping back when a fist pounds on the door. “Hey, Kat! Come on! The minister called and said he’ll be here in an hour. I assume you want to eat and take a bath and all that other shit that girls like to do.”
I open the door to his astonished, handsome face. “What exactly is that other shit that girls like to do? Gossip? Talk about all the new clothes they’re going to buy and the sale at Norman’s Clothing Emporium?”
He has the grace to look down, ashamed. “I’m sorry. Maybe that did sound a little dickish. I just meant maybe you’d want to do your hair, put on a little makeup. That kind of stuff.”
“I don’t do a lot of that stuff but I’ll make sure that I don’t embarrass you,” I huff, trying to shut the door in his face.
He stiff-arms it, reaching out and pulling at my arm to stop me from flouncing off.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that you could ever embarrass me. I wouldn’t change a damn thing about you. You’re fucking perfect.”
“Pfft! I’m absolutely not perfect. I’m okay. But I could be better.”
His hand touches my chin gently, tugging it around to stare into my eyes. His lips brush my lips lightly and I hold my breath, startled, afraid to move for fear that he’ll stop touching me. “Hey, I don’t know who or what hurt you, Kat. But I can tell you this right now. I consider myself a damn lucky man to have found you. I will never regret doing that stupid online dating thing if it brought you to me. Hell, I should probably invest in Ever After at this rate. Nobody else could be more perfect for me. So apparently there is something to that company. Get in on the ground floor, people. This one’s a winner,” he chuckles.
I smile slightly, feeling ridiculously bubbly and lightheaded. Like I’ve sucked down too much champagne.
“You’re sure you’re not going to regret this?” I ask him, twisting my fingers and praying that he doesn’t decide that this isn’t what he wants.
“Nope! I’ve got what I want. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
I nod my head and he laughs. “Then let’s get this show on the road. You get ready and I’ll make us some breakfast. I have a cook that comes in a few days a week but she’s not here today. So you’ll have to suffer through my cooking.”
I quirk an eyebrow at him and smirk. “I’m having toast with butter, aren’t I?”
He snorts and then chokes on a laugh. “No! I’m actually gonna make us some bacon and eggs so don’t dawdle. Nothing sucks worse than cold eggs.”
He turns to go but then whips around, startling me. “By the way, I wasn’t sure what you’d do about a wedding dress. And I wasn’t sure about your size either. So I had a dress shop send over a bunch of different options. So take a look if you don’t have something and you want a dress.” His face shifts and his dark eyes lose their sparkle. “But that’s only if you want to. You don’t have to. It’s your choice.”
I touch his arm and feel him jump. Feel that zip of static charge fly between our bodies, electrifying me. His indrawn breath tells me he feels it too. “Thank you. That was very sweet. I didn’t really have any time for that stuff. And no family to help.”