Kat
“Are you sure this is what you want to do? It’s not too late to back out, you know.”
“Yes, actually it is. I’ve already signed the agreement with the agency and so has he. We’re doing this.”
“But has he told you yet why he’s doing this?”
“Yes, he has. Sounds pretty much like me. He’s lonely and wants a family. It sounds like all his friends are already married and having kids and he feels like it’s time.”
“Pfft! That’s all well and good for him. But have you thought about what it will be like to be with a perfect stranger?”
“Yes.” And there’s the rub. What I don’t want to tell anybody because it sounds as crazy as it is pathetic.
I have seen a picture of him. We’ve even had a video chat. And when I saw him, my body lit up like it was the fourth of July. His deep, husky voice had shivers dancing down my spine and settling in my belly. A hint of silver shot through his dark hair especially on his temples. His dark eyes studied me as seriously as tax returns. He barely cracked a smile the whole time we talked, which was only a short half an hour chat. Just long enough to make a lifetime decision quickly.
And I did. As soon as I saw him and heard that dark voice that keeps creeping into my dreams, I knew I had to take the deal. Even John didn’t get me as worked up as this man does.
I dream about him every night, hearing that dark, husky voice saying the dirtiest things to me while he makes love to me. Not just for the babies he wants. He wants me.
Or at least he does in my dreams.
“And you’re okay with that? Having sex with a man who doesn’t love you? Who barely knows you and essentially just wants a woman to breed his babies and you’re the best option he can come up with?”
Her sharp words are a dagger to my heart. “Sienna…come on. I need to leave this town and you know it. I just…”. My voice trails off and tension runs up my spine. I clear my throat, struggling to get rid of the lump building there. “I need to get out of this damn town. I can’t take it anymore. The looks, the whispers…all of it.” My voice breaks and she groans.
“Kat, you know that John’s death wasn’t your fault.”
“I do. But then I have his parents eyeing me like I’m a piece of trash every time they come into the coffee shop. And all the biddies that his mother is friends with whisper behind their hands about me.” Tears well up in my eyes and stick in my throat. “I can’t take it anymore. I need to get away. And if I get a husband and a family of my own out of it, I just don’t care about the process. Just the reward.”
She sighs. “Oh, honey. I am so sorry that you feel this desperate. I know you’ve been lonely but I didn’t realize it had gotten this bad.”
“It is what it is, Sienna. But I’m tired of living in some kind of limbo in Emerald Ridge. I want more than just existing with the occasional excitement of my friends’ weddings. I need this. Please be happy for me,” I beg, my heart beating out of control as I hear the call for my plane to start boarding. He sent me tickets for a flight, in first class, which I’ve never flown before. The one and only flight I ever took was to go to the place where John’s plane crashed. Like some damn pilgrimage to a shrine. A shrine to my memories. My hopes and dreams. My love.
Needless to say, that flight was not fun. I’m excited to take a flight where I’m not going to be sitting staring off into space while tears wreck my face and wet my clothes.
“They’re calling my flight, Sienna. I will miss you.” I pace quickly to the gate, handing over my ticket and smiling nervously at the agent. I can’t help the feeling that something’s going to go wrong.
But she just smiles and hands my boarding pass back to me. “Enjoy your flight.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, stepping into the tunnel. “I’ve got to go, Sienna. I’m boarding right now.”
“Okay, okay. But if there’s anything that you need. Even a place to stay or money to get home if this goes wrong or you get nervous about this guy…you call me right away. And don’t forget to call me right away when you land. I want to know that you’re alright.”
“Fine. Yes. I’ll call.”
“Good. I love you, girl.”
“I love you, too. You’re the best, you know that.”
“I do. Ask anybody,” she giggles. “Bye, love.”
“Good-bye!”
I hang up and step onto the plane, holding up my boarding pass. The flight attendant points to the left and smiles. “Welcome aboard, miss. You’re in first class. Enjoy your flight.”
“Thank you.” I step through the curtain and immediately feel the excitement building when I find my seat, stow my luggage and buckle myself in.
Another attendant stops and reminds me to turn off all my devices. I nod and watch the other people board, letting the sound from the plane and the people chatting swirl around me.