“That won’t be necessary. I can manage.”
“Jacqui, I brought you here. The least I can do is help you find what Bill left for you and get you safely home.”
She turned to him, still furious.
“Why did you bring me here at all? You could have just told me you knew I had a great-uncle, and that you wanted his diamond. I would have helped you. You didn’t have to take me on fancy dates, and to Hawaii.”
All he could do was shrug helplessly. It was a weak reaction and he knew it.
“I know. At least, I figured it out after I met you. But by then, I wanted to do those things. They made you happy, and I liked making you happy.”
“You didn’t have to propose.”
“I thought I did. I had a plan, and it was stupid, thoughtless and, yes, unnecessary. I didn’t give you a chance to help me outright. I didn’t trust you.”
The look she gave him told Khizar exactly what she thought of that statement.
“And I haven’t given you reason to trust me right now, I know. But I am telling you the truth—I am sorry I didn’t trust you before.”
“Why?”
Khizar gingerly sat next to her on the bench, heartened by the fact that she allowed him to sit down. He took a second to gather his thoughts.
“I don’t trust anyone.”
“Well, that’s a terrible way to live.”
He bit off a bitter laugh.
“How can you trust people? You’ve lost so much in your life. How can you believe anyone when they tell you it’s going to be okay?”
Jacqui shook her head. “Because I have to trust someone. Myself first, then the people I love. Otherwise, what’s the point?”
“The point is that the people you love lie to you.”
She stared at him. “What happened to you?”
Khizar hadn’t meant to say that, to open himself up even a crack. He leaned his head back, trying to find a way around baring his soul. There was none, not if he wanted her to understand.
But it was hard, maybe too hard, so he started with a story instead.
“I grew up playing in these gardens. Climbing the trees, swimming in that pond,” he nodded toward the water, “which was completely forbidden, by the way. I spent hours here playing hide and seek, and when I was older, reading and doing schoolwork. For a large part of my childhood, it felt like I lived in these gardens.
“One day, some older boys from my school were playing here, too. I wanted to play with them, but they wouldn’t let me. I don’t even remember what it was, now, but at the time I was so crushed. They were cruel, though.
“What I do remember, is my older brother wading into the middle of those boys. He yelled at them for being unkind. He chased them off, and then he told me it didn’t matter if the older kids didn’t want to play with us, because we’d always have each other.”
Khizar had to stop, before the moment overwhelmed him. Jacqui must have heard it in his voice, because her next question hit home.
“When did you lose him?”
Of course, she would know. Those who felt this kind of grief recognized kindred spirits.
“I was ten. He was fourteen. He was sick for two years, in and out of hospitals. His diagnosis came three months after he promised me we’d always have each other.
“I believed him right up to the moment he died. I believed my parents when they told me it would be okay, that he had the best doctors and hospitals.
“My parents were devastated, of course. I don’t think they saw that I closed myself off to everyone after my brother’s death. It took me years to understand that they hadn’t lied to me—they’d really believed he would be cured.
“And that was its own sort of betrayal. My parents knew everything. They were smart and good and loyal. If they could be wrong about something so important, then they could be wrong about everything. I don’t think I’ve believed in anything—or anyone—since then.”
As soon as he said it, Khizar realized that it wasn’t true anymore. So, he took a chance and added what he truly felt.
“At least, I hadn’t, until I met you.”
He met her eyes, and saw that she wasn’t furious anymore. Her expression had softened and was more understanding. Khizar comprehended now what he’d been missing all along: he never had a chance of being happy without opening up and trusting someone.