“You scared us back there, kid,” Rex said softly as he gave me a smile and reached out to push a stray tendril of hair back behind my ear.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered in reply.
“Thought we’d lose you sooner than usual.”
“I didn’t mean to cause—” My voice caught in my throat as I slowly processed what he’d just said. “What did you say?” Sooner than usual? What did that mean?
Panic flashed across Rex’s eyes, and I knew he was fully aware he’d let something slip. But before I could demand to know just what he was talking about, he crushed me to his chest and then stared down at me for what felt like an eternity. And I stared back up at him.
“This shouldn’t,” he started and then took a deep breath as he shook his head. “I just can’t fucking help it.”
When he moved to kiss me, I didn’t stop him.
A nagging voice faintly called out in the back of my head, warning me this was wrong, that this was Rex. And, furthermore, that there was something between Laurent and me. But I pushed the unwanted intrusion out of my mind. Maybe I was just desperate for physical contact, or maybe the kiss was no more than a feverish whim, felt by us both. Maybe I was so darn glad to be alive that a hug or kiss from anyone would have been warmly welcomed. Regardless of the nagging suspicion behind the reason for Rex’s kiss, I began leaning into his embrace.
His muscular arms gently wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer as our lips broke away. It wasn’t the same as kissing Laurent. Laurent’s kisses were brief and chaste, but still powerful. Kissing Rex was overwhelming, a passionate act that left me breathless. Rex’s eyes glimmered brightly with a joy I’d never saw from him before.
Gushing with emotion and not really sure what I was doing, I put my hand inside the opening of his shirt, feeling the scars that trailed down his chest. Their rough, elevated texture sent shivers up my spine, and I dragged my fingers lower, running them down his abs, following the line of course hair that started below his navel and dipped beneath the hemline of his pants.
“Bindi,” he growled when my fingers dipped below the waist of his pants.
“This… feels… right,” I whispered, echoing the words that trilled through my head.
“It’s not supposed to happen,” he whispered back but even as he said the words, I could see him hardening beneath his pants.
I looked back up at him then, after witnessing the growing length of his erection and then his mouth was on mine and his hands were in my hair, on either side of my face, moving swiftly south as he lowered himself down above me, grinding his hips into me until I could feel exactly what awaited me beneath his pants.
His hands migrated to my breasts and then they were under my linen shirt, my nipples growing hard as pebbles beneath his expert fingers.
“The temptation is too much,” he groaned as he looked at me, his eyes traveling from mine to the pinkness of my nipples. “I want you too fucking much.” Then he bent down and took one of my nipples in his mouth, rolling the soft nub with his tongue as I arched beneath him.
That’s when I saw it.
And my body went limp.
Leaning against the wall, directly in front of me, was a framed poster depicting a girl riding a beautiful, white horse. The young woman was dressed in a glittering display of jewels and sequins, her blond hair pinned back as she smiled brightly. As I stared at the illustration, there was no denying it this time. No excuses could suffice.
Despite the spray of freckles across her face, I was, without a doubt, staring at a poster of myself.
“Rex,” I pressed my palms against his chest, trying to free myself from his tenacious grip. “Rex—who is that on the wall? Who is the woman in that poster?”
He barely glanced behind his shoulder before replying. “Just an old act from years ago. She was one of the circus’ favorite stars.” Apparently thinking he’d said all I needed to know, Rex leaned in for another kiss. But my mind wasn’t focused on kissing any longer, so I recoiled from his embrace.
“That’s not just any woman… that’s… that’s me!” I managed to push him away and stand upright, albeit wobbly. My injured ankle hurt like all hell as I made my way toward the poster, to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. But, no, up close the woman looked even more like me. I turned back to face Rex. “You—you can’t say you don’t see the resemblance! That woman is the spitting image of me.” I turned back to face the poster. “It’s as if we’re one and the same.”
When Rex stood up and faced me, all his previous adoration and passion evaporated, replaced by a deeply furrowed brow and the scowl I’d grown accustomed to. “You know as well as I do that it’s impossible for the woman on the poster to be you…”
A hot flush filled my face as I tried to calm my suddenly frantic heartbeat and I took a few deep breaths. He was right—it was impossible for the woman in the poster to be me. Because I didn’t ride horses and never had. When I looked up at him, I found him staring at me. “I don’t pretend to understand any of this,” I started in a soft tone. “This circus, the people in the circus… you.”
“Me?”
I nodded. “You didn’t like me before. It’s probably safe to say you… even… hated me. Just days ago, you told me I was a troublemaker, and you were itching for any reason to kick me out. And now? Now… you’re… kissing me and… and touching me and telling me you can’t help it.” I breathed in deeply as a wave of desire passed through me and I had to close my eyes to keep from acting on it. I didn’t know what it was about Rex but I wanted him with a passion I’d never experienced before. Not even for Laurent. “Which is it?”
“Don’t do this. You’ve had a hell of a day,” he said, words almost lost on the large breath he inhaled. “Your mind is playing tricks on you. You’re not thinking clearly. Just come back to bed and get some rest.”
Memories from the train’s caboose came rushing back, specifically, the fury on Rex’s face when he found Laurent and me alone. “I heard what you said on the train when you and Laurent were arguing.”
He frowned at me but didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “What did you hear?”