Chapter Eight
“The black caravan?” Halfrieda visibly shuddered, sticking her fork into a huge pile of mashed potatoes as I wracked my brain, trying to understand how she didn’t remember anything from last night. “Oh, no! Ya couldn’t pay me ta put even one little toe in there.”
I groaned, pushing my plate of meatloaf away as I slumped against the table. “You said the same thing last night.” Unless she was just pretending, she really didn’t remember how we’d walked through all three rooms, full of dolls and bizarre animals. “You were there with me! I can’t believe you don’t remember any of it.”
Halfrieda’s brow furrowed. “Sorry, love. Reckon my mind was pretty blank last night. No dreams ‘tall.”
“Are you zertain you vere not dreaming?” Valida asked me.
I shook my head furiously. “No, I’m positive I wasn’t. Halfrieda and I went through The Hall of Oddities and The Menagerie.” I breathed in deeply as I tried to understand how it was that Halfrieda had forgotten all of it. “Come on, Halfrieda, you must remember the tiny rabbits with little horns growing out of their heads?”
“Wha—like a devil rabbit or somethin’?” Halfrieda laughed nervously but shook her head at me. “Bindi, that sounds creepy as a—”
“Heebie-jeebie, I know.” I groaned again, letting my forehead thump against the table as I hunched forward. It had been like this all day. No matter what memory occurred to me, Halfrieda refused to admit she remembered any of it. And I was starting to believe her—it wasn’t that she didn’t want to get into trouble—somehow she’d managed to completely wipe the entire evening from her brain.
Questions as to how that was even possible were already stockpiling in mine. Had she been sleepwalking when we visited the ebony caravan? Had she been so scared by the strange creatures within that she’d somehow wiped the whole experience from her memory? Had someone wiped it for her?
That thought led to other thoughts—chiefly of Rex. Today he seemed dodgier than usual, almost purposefully avoiding me. I couldn’t tell if he was still furious with me or just disappointed that I didn’t know how to follow directions.
Thus far, I hadn’t been kicked out of the Cirque du Noir (something I’d actually been expecting), so I assumed Rex hadn’t told Laurent about it. And that was strange because I couldn’t help but recall how he’d warned me about having only one chance when I’d first signed on. I was fairly sure I should have blown that chance last night, and yet, here I was—still here for dinner.
Nothing made any sense. And that was beginning to be a pattern.
“Vell, dahling, don’t get too hung up on eet.”
“Yeah, we got the evenin’ show startin’ in a few minutes,” Halfrieda added with a clipped nod. “Don’t need no distractions on yer debut performance, right?”
My frustration was momentarily pushed aside, replaced by raw anxiety. “I’m worried I’m going to forget my routine and make a total fool of myself,” I lamented on a sigh. The truth was, I’d been so caught up in everything about the Cirque du Noir, I hadn’t been paying as much attention to my own routine as I should have.
“Oh, don’t vorry, dahling. Zee only zing you need to remember eez your steps during our duet. An’ I’ll be leading, zo, really, you only need to follow my stepz!”
Halfrieda rolled her eyes as she scooped up her dinner plate. “You’ll do jist great, Bindi.”
I bit my lip, wanting to believe her although I was worried, all the same. “Y-Yeah. Sure.” But, even now, my mind wasn’t on my performance or our dinner. I was just playing along, but inside my mind was another story. I couldn’t stop thinking about the Hall of Oddities and all those dolls and the menagerie of strange animals. And the woman Laurent had danced with—the same woman he’d marked—the woman who was represented in the poster. As the thoughts crossed my mind, I vowed that I’d find another opportunity to visit that house of horrors soon enough. If I could locate that poster again, I planned to show it to everyone. Surely, they’d remember Laurent’s dance partner and maybe they’d have an explanation for how she could have appeared in the poster only hours later?
***
Midnight chimed and once more, the Cirque du Noir was filled to capacity.
Instead of sitting among the audience, I stood with the other curiosities, patiently awaiting my time to perform. Laurent’s introduction billowed through the tent flaps, practically the same as last night’s, loud fanfare and all. And, like before, the audience laughed, hollered, and paused in silent awe at all the right places.
I peeked out every now and then, searching for the woman’s face from the night before. Of course, I didn’t see her, but that didn’t surprise me. Most folks couldn’t afford to visit the circus more than once—truly, it was a once in a year experience. So, it was no wonder I didn’t see her now. Not that my rationalization made me feel any better about it.
The audience’s cheering became my benchmark, a timetable to know when it was my turn to make my way to the stage. Curiosities came and left, circulating the sweet, salty air every time the tent flap shifted. Popcorn, cotton candy, and sweat soon became familiar smells that calmed my mind.
“Are you ready, Bindi? Ve are almozt up,” Valida whispered over my shoulder.
I flinched when Balthazar’s tongue tickled my ear. “Ah, y-yeah. I’m ready.” I didn’t feel ready, but our turn was up, and we were about to be introduced on stage, so ready or not, I was on my way.
I took a deep breath, bouncing on my heels to release the last of my jitters, when I heard my name echoing through the tent. After Laurent’s announcement, Valida and I rushed through the flap before she quickly faded into the darkness and I commanded the limelight.
I was beyond nervous at first as I looked out at the audience and saw all those eyes reflected back at me as the lights of the circus made their rounds among the spectators. Remembering myself, I circled the ring, dressed in my simple leotard, shimmering blue-black in the bright spotlight. I smiled out at everyone assembled and held my hands aloft as I held my chin up and tried to appear as graceful as a swan. Every eye was trained on me, watching, waiting for me to do something spectacular. Waiting to be wowed.
I felt like I had in the Dark Room the night before, with all those dolls’ eyes trained on me. Only these eyes didn’t belong to inanimate objects. These belonged to living, breathing people, eager to tear me down if I made a single mistake.
Laurent took my hand as I moved to where he stood in the center of the ring. When he held my hand in the air, the audience began to applaud on cue. He flashed me an encouraging wink, mouthing “smile” as he turned to address the audience. I gave it my best effort, despite feeling weak in the knees. This was all a lot easier at rehearsal.
“She’s such a pretty thing, isn’t she?” Laurent asked as he looked over at me with another well-practiced smile. “Such a lovely and rare bird deserving of a gilded cage.” His hand released mine, extracting an intricately carved, gold enclosure from behind me, seemingly out of thin air. “This bird, however, doesn’t like to sing.” He nodded at me, my next cue.