Cherish Me (Rough Edges 3) - Page 9

Chapter 4

Hazel

The venue is coveredin flowers, almost too many. The chairs are comfortable though, which means my ass won’t be numb when we head to the reception. I’ve only been to three weddings so far, and the chairs are usually old and worn, and when everyone stands up, they squeak. These are new and have some back support too.

Up at the altar, Aiden’s eyes are boring into mine, and for a minute, I smile, but then look away as my mind thinks back to his proposal, and turning him down. The moment that haunts sometimes even to this day, eight years later. Sometimes, I think about what our lives would be like if I said yes. Would we have raised Jake, and then had more kids? Would I have still become a lawyer? Things could’ve worked out perfectly, or went majorly wrong.

We were both young, and it’s the best decision we could’ve made at that point. At eighteen, we had no business getting married.

Damn, he look good up there though. His chestnut hair, perfectly tailored suit that accents his broad shoulders, and don’t get me started on his deep brown eyes. The sadness instilled in them at the sight of me, only leaves me to think he isn’t quite over our past.

Honestly, there have been times I thought of him, but we live across the country from each other now. It wouldn’t work. Yet, in this moment, there is a want between my legs, a need for him to pleasure me like he’s always been good at doing.

Sure, Aiden was my first, but honestly, no one has compared to him since leaving Grapevine. Angela always told me that being in love with someone will make sex better, and to wait until I find that person, and I did. Aiden never stopped supporting me, and pushing me to chase my dreams. This is the type of man I dreamed about ending up with, and now with me being back here, I don’t know if we are ever going to work out. Both of us have changed since being teenagers, and might want different things.

As the wedding march begins, a woman comes out wearing a stunning gown, nothing too crazy, but simple and elegant. That must be Tessa. Damon’s eyes don’t come off her the whole time, and neither does his smile.

It’s nice to see him happy, especially after what happened to Carol. Honestly, in high school, we always thought they were end game. You couldn’t separate them even if you tried. After hearing about her passing, I don’t know how he dealt with it, because if something happened to Aiden, even though we aren’t together, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed.

My attention goes to Damon and Tessa as they say their vows, exchange rings, and then kiss for the first time as husband and wife. It is weird for me to say that I truly thought one day that might be us. Young and in love, Aiden and I did talk about a future together, but my dad made some important points about not letting anyone stand in the way of me achieving my dreams, and that my focus should be on Harvard. At first, there was some resistance, but after carefully thinking about it, he was right. College was going to be hard, and on top of that, it’s Harvard, an ivy league school and I only had one shot.

My thought process was simple back then. Aiden and I would find our way back to each other someday. There are many things I need to talk to him about while in town, and things might get complicated.

After leaving Grapevine and arriving at Harvard, things started to spiral. I found out I was carrying a child, and had no clue what to do. As a young girl, I couldn’t raise a child, especially living in Massachusetts away from Donald and Jeremy. After a couple of weeks, I told Aiden, and he was ecstatic. It literally took him two seconds to ask if I had thought about his marriage proposal. Just because I was pregnant doesn’t mean we were getting married.

After a long phone conversation, he disagreed with my decision to give the baby up for adoption. How the hell would two eighteen-year-old college students going to provide for a child? Neither of us had jobs.

So, I had to be the sinful person and made that decision. Aiden reached out over the next year through texts to check on me, and when he found out Jake was adopted to a wealthy family—he ghosted me.

Looking back, I understand his frustration. Never in a million years did I anticipate getting pregnant and giving my baby up for adoption, but it was the best choice I could make at that time. Do I regret it? Hell yes, but it’s too late to change anything. Every year on his birthday, I light a mini cake and sing him Happy Birthday.

I can’t say that since receiving my degree, the thought of raising him doesn’t cross my mind. Should I have pushed through the hard times and kept Jake? Married Aiden and became a family? Our salaries now are more than enough to raise a child, but we didn’t have these things back then. Who knows if I would have even finished school?

Don’t beat yourself up. You did what you thought was right, at that time.

Is Aiden still pissed off about the adoption? It’s hard to tell considering the regret for me is still there. Did he tell anyone? His brothers?

The closed adoption made sense back then, but now, I wish I would have pressed for an open one. How is he doing? What does he look like? Is he getting good grades in school? There are so many questions and likely I will never get answers unless Aiden gets on board with my plan.

Now, I’m here at Damon’s wedding, seeing Aiden for the first time, and all I want to do is be that eighteen-year-old girl again, tucked in his arms, recklessly in love, without a care in the world. But I can’t. That girl isn’t around anymore.

Everyone starts to go to the other side of the venue for the reception, and champagne is already being poured into the glasses at each table. Jeremy and I find ours and take a seat.

“You okay? Eyes look puffy.”

“It’s a wedding. Girls cry, okay.”

I take a sip of my champagne and glance around the room, wondering how long it’s going to take for him to approach me. In this dress, probably not long.

My confidence might be high, but not enough to approach him first. Who knows what might come out of my mouth, and this is not the place to blab our business. No scenes at weddings, it’s my rule.

The music starts and everyone is enjoying their drinks while waiting for the bride and groom to make their entrance. Weddings are always such happy events, well except when they are left at the altar, but we won’t talk about that today.

I haven’t seen Aiden, but Liam walked in with a girl on his arm. Is this his new girlfriend? She’s gorgeous. At first, I think about waiting to introduce myself, but maybe it’s better to say hi before the party ramps up.

“I’ll be back,” I tell Jeremy, scooting my chair out, and walking over towards them.

The girl is laughing and then kisses Liam. They are so cute together.

Tags: Ashley Zakrzewski Rough Edges Romance
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