I wanted him to be willing to forgive me, and I wanted him to want to keep me around, but not enough to manipulate him.
My stomach was in knots as I walked out to my truck and unlocked the door, driving over to Andy’s practically on autopilot. I was still consumed with thoughts of what I was going to say to him, how I would be able to explain this, when I pulled up to his address and felt a jolt at the sight of the cars on the street in front of me.
All four of the brothers’ cars were parked on the street in front of Andy’s place, making my stomach twist even more.
Fuck. Fuck. So they already knew what was going on. They’d talked amongst themselves and had found out that I’d been screwing them all behind each other’s backs, both literally and figuratively. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, I thought to myself grimly. I might as well come clean to all of them at once and face the consequences of my actions.
I took a second after I’d parked to take a few deep breaths, calming myself down and attempting to slow down my heart, which was threatening to beat its way out of my chest. Whatever happened, I was going to be fine. I knew I would be fine. We all would be.
I had Molly, and even though I couldn’t control how the men would react to me, I would find my way forward.
Grounding myself, I climbed out of the driver’s seat and walked up the path to Andy’s front door, feeling my hands shaking a little bit as I approached. Knocking cautiously, I waited for a response, thinking of what I would say when he opened the door.
When the door was opened, I had a smile on my face to greet him, but it grew wooden as I saw his expression. It was much sterner than usual as he stared at me impassively, not saying anything to me as I stood outside on the porch. Looking behind him, I saw the rest of the Kent siblings standing inside, each of them with identical expressions of upset and disappointment on their faces.
I swallowed, the sound of it deafening in my own ears, and licked my lips, which felt so dry it was almost impossible for me to talk. “Can I come in?”
“Might as well,” he said, standing aside and letting me into the front room before shutting the door.
I stood in the silence, looking around at all of them, and said in a hoarse voice that didn’t sound like mine, “Actually, I’m glad you’re all here.”
Austin snorted, his face wearing the dry, derisive expression I was used to. “That’s interesting, considering what we need to discuss with you.”
“Agreed,” Adam put in, raising an eyebrow. “We need to talk about your definition of trust and honesty.”
The rest of them started to talk, their words all overlapping each other, and all the talking rapidly became overwhelming to me.
I held up my hands in surrender and was shocked at the immediate silence that fell over all of them. The tension didn’t dissipate, but at least I could hear myself think now.
“Please. Let me go first,” I said, willing as much strength into my voice as possible.
29
AARON
A big misunderstanding among most people was that just because I didn’t say much, it meant I wasn’t feeling much of anything. People typically looked at me and thought that my lack of reaction meant that I just didn’t care, when if they would just ask, they’d learn that the opposite was, in fact, true. I was just never that person who would immediately show what I was thinking. The situation with my little brothers was the single notable exception.
Right now, though….
Right now, I wished I could be that person who yelled and screamed, giving way to every single thing that I felt.
Half of me wanted to take the glass of water that I was currently holding in my hand and throw it across the room, soaking the wall with it and letting the shattered glass fly everywhere, though I knew that wasn’t very likely to make me feel better.
I stood still with my back against the wall, my knee bent, and my foot placed against the wall as I turned the glass over in my hand again and again, doing my best to keep my eyes on the floor. I didn’t know what I would do if I looked Lucy in the eye.
“So,” she started out by saying, looking around at each of us in turn, “I’m guessing you all know what’s gone on with me and each of you.”
So much for me keeping my eyes on the floor. My eyes snapped up to her at her statement, surprised at how she’d stated it so baldly. I had to admit that I found her willingness to own exactly what she’d done respectable.