“Forget it,” she mumbles. “It’s stupid. Lincoln, forget it.”
The laugh that bursts out of me is harsh. Jenny flinches.
And no, she hasn’t been scared of me for so long, and we can’t go back to that now. Not because I’m being such a fucking ogre. I turn and face her, arms folded over my chest, and though I know I should be gentler with my shy roommate, I can’t help the hard edge to my voice.
“You want to kiss someone? A random man?”
I sound like a jealous prick. I am a jealous prick.
Jenny shakes her head, her messy bun wobbling from side to side, and I pinch the bridge of my nose. Draw in a harsh breath. My head is pounding something fierce. “Is there someone particular, then? Someone you like?”
Lord help me, if Jenny asks for my help in landing her crush, I will fucking die inside. I may not be the one for her, may just be a random guy passing through as far as she’s concerned, but that doesn’t mean I’m made of stone.
“…No,” she whispers. Why don’t I believe her?
But then, why does it matter? I’ve got no goddamn claim on her. I either agree to help, or I don’t.
“It’s an experience,” she explains, voice shaky. Jenny plucks at her yoga pants, still not meeting my eye. Can’t blame her. “I’ve never kissed anyone before, and I’m twenty-three years old, Lincoln. Isn’t it supposed to be this huge deal? This core human experience for lots of people?”
Yes. So?
Ugh.
“And you want to try it.”
That blush deepens to crimson, but Jenny’s scowl is fierce. She glares at me, blue eyes daring me to mock her. “Yes. I wanted to try it with someone I trust. But you clearly don’t want to, and you’re being a massive judgy jerk anyway, so forget it—”
Oh, hell no.
I cross to the sofa and throw myself down, then tug Jenny down onto my lap. She lands with a squeak, scrabbling at my shoulders, and I wrap an arm tight around her waist, anchoring her to me.
There.
Something settles inside me, despite her grousing. This feels so fucking right. For the first time since coming back to this city, that itchy, restless feeling under my skin goes away. There’s no mysterious thing I need to remember, no urgent thing I need to find, because Jenny is in my lap and there’s nowhere on earth I’d rather be.
“Kissing,” I say loudly, cutting over her stream of complaints. “You really want to try this, Jenny? You want your first kiss? Because I’m in.”