“Better to call it out than pretend it’s not there. That really would allow you to use it as a weapon.” Her face was on fire, her chest a cavern of ice, but defensiveness and denial only emphasized a weakness. She’d learned that the hard way.
“You don’t see sexual attraction as a weapon you can use?”
“On you? Pfft. No.” He was far too sophisticated and experienced with seduction. His sexually charged, I remember her very well on that phone call when she’d arrived had told her that.
Hersexual experience was confined to rebuffing it. Before him, that had always been relatively easy. Today, she was battling herself. It was distressing to feel so helpless against such a strong attraction. Her gaze kept wanting to swivel back to him and slide all over him. Sitting close to him was agony, making her skin feel tight and prickly. Aware.
She knew he hated her and some puerile part of her wanted him to like her, which was self-destructive. She had been taught long ago not to wish for positive regard from people who despised her. That way lay madness.
She smoothed a wrinkle from her skirt, ensuring the hem covered her knee an extra centimeter.
“You’ve already explained that you’ll use any door to debase my family,” she said stiffly. “The one to my bedroom is firmly dead bolted. Don’t bother knocking.”
She expected a tasteless comment about picking her lock. She got profound silence.
She glanced at him.
His features had turned to granite, causing a small lurch in her chest as she realized she had made a mistake.
“Don’t judge me by the standards you’re familiar with, Ilona. Unlike your brother, there are certain legal and ethical lines I will never cross.”
Had she insulted him? That would suggest he cared what she thought of him.
He left her pondering that as they arrived at the restaurant. They were shown through a busy dining room with a full outdoor patio.
It certainly was a place with tables, one so full it would afford them very little privacy.
The host led them to stone stairs and Leander briefly touched her lower back to indicate she should precede him.
With her spine tingling from that innocuous touch, she followed the host upward to a wide breezeway with a half wall that hid them from the dining area below. Here, a half dozen tables were spaced well apart. Between each, tall planters overflowed with fragrant geraniums and colorful petunias. The shade ensured the temperature was several degrees cooler and the din from below was muffled. Plus, they were high enough to see the blue line of the Aegean as well as catch the soft, salt-flavored breeze that floated in from the water.
“This is lovely. I didn’t know it existed.”
“It’s one of my best-kept secrets. Kindly keep it that way. Wine?”
“Light and white, please.”
He ordered, requesting the special which was a seafood platter for two.
“Now. Tell me all the reasons you are hesitant to marry me. We’ve established that bedroom activities will be negotiated separately. What else?”
She opened her mouth, but was briefly too bemused by his assumption to find words.
“Because I don’t wish to tie myself to a stranger for the rest of my life,” she finally blurted. “Is that something that genuinely appeals to you?”
“It doesn’t have to be a lifetime. Ten years would do.”
“I’m not throwing away ten years of fertility,” she assured him.
“You said you don’t want children.”
“I don’t want children with you,” she clarified, grateful the wine arrived. She washed away her fib with a gulp of icy tang flavored with fruit and smoke and a hint of nougat.
Because, as potential mates went, Leander was ridiculously fit for the job. He was healthy and strong, powerful and prosperous, not to mention easy on the eye. At twenty-four, she wasn’t in a hurry to start a family, but he was the first man who had made her think seriously about starting one.
He was the first man to make her think about making babies.
His eyes narrowed on her and she had the sense he was affronted. She took another gulp, cooling the heat rising in her throat.