Sebastian.
"We're not breaking any rules," I whisper, my entire being trembling and quaking.
"You're breaking convention. Sometimes, that's even worse," he says. His mocking smile makes my blood run cold. He really is enjoying this. "If he pursued you, who's to say he wouldn't do it again? To a teacher less…forceful…than you."
"Sebastian would never do something like that!" I growl, infuriated that he would even suggest such a thing. I'm not some naïve little girl and Sebastian isn't a monster. He didn't coerce me into anything or prey on me. Despite Johnson's horrific opinion, Sebastian would never do that, not to me or anyone else. Not ever.
"Of course he wouldn't," Johnson says, as if he's doing Sebastian some great favor here instead of attacking his character…his moral fiber. "But that doesn't mean people won't think him capable of it. They'll judge him harshly."
I want to yell that he's lying…but I can't this time because he's right. Some people will think badly of him for being with me. He's done nothing wrong, but some people might judge him anyway. They'll see that picture and think what we're doing is wrong.
They won't see the love or tender moments. They won't see us talking over dinner or him massaging my shoulders while I grade papers or cooking for me while I read my book. They won't see us on FaceTime, introducing him to my mom and his little sisters. They'll see a man in a position of authority making out with his subordinate in a parking lot and assume the worst.
"Quite frankly, Miss Lassiter," Johnson says, "even if the School Board wanted to keep him on after this, the scandal would force their hands."
"What are you saying?" I ask, my voice shaking.
"I'm saying that he'll be terminated or forced to resign. No other district will touch him. His career will be over, ruined. He'll never lead a district again, never shape educational policy again."
"You don't know what you're talking about," I whisper, trying hard not to let his grim view of the future sow seeds of doubt. If Sebastian thought being with me might ruin his career, he wouldn't have pursued me…would he?
Forget our jobs, baby. Whatever this is between us, it's worth taking a little risk, isn't it?
Oh God. He knew. Before he ever kissed me for the first time, he knew. That's why he went to see Leslie Holland that first day, to find out what the risks were. He knew that he could lose his job, his career…and he took that risk anyway.
Because he loves you, a little voice whispers in the back of my mind.
I love him too. So much it hurts. But I can't keep him if it means destroying him. That's not fair to him. He's so good at what he does. He has so many plans and he genuinely cares about the teachers and students, about ensuring teachers have what they need to help students succeed. This school district needs him. Our students need him. Which means I can't be selfish here.
I can't keep him.
"I'll break up with him," I blurt out, fighting the urge to cry as my heart snaps in two. "I'll ask to be transferred to another school. Just please, don't share those pictures. Don't let him lose his job over me."
"I'm afra-"
"That's it," someone says from behind me. "I've heard enough."
I whip my head around to find Cadence Grayson standing right inside the door, her eyes flashing fire as she glares at Principal Johnson with her hands on her wide hips.
"Miss Grayson, I don't recall asking you into my office," Johnson says, setting the tablet back on his desk.
"Quite frankly, I don't give a shit what you recall," she snaps at him, her face red with rage. "How dare you sit there and blackmail Rowan into giving you what you want? How dare you insert yourself into a relationship that is none of your business? She is an incredible teacher and Dr. Thorne is an amazing superintendent. You're a horrible little toad."
"You would think that," he says, condescension dripping from his tone. "You're as naïve and troublesome as your friend, always thinking about yourself instead of what's best for this school. It's quite clear that Dr. Thorne is cut from the same cloth. He's jeopardizing the reputation of this school for an affair."
Please, Baby Jesus. Don't send me to hell for hating this man, I pray. Because I do hate him. I hate him so much for threatening Sebastian, for talking badly about him.
"You don't care what's best for the school," Cadence retorts. "You don't even care about Rowan. If you were really concerned that Dr. Thorne was anything like you suggested, you would have gone straight to the School Board instead of dragging Rowan in here after hours. If anyone is manipulative in this situation, it's not Dr. Thorne. It's you. All you care about is what makes you look good. You can't stand that someone else has more authority than you. That's what this is about. You don't give a shit about Rowan, about Dr. Thorne, or about the students here. All you care about is you and your image."
"Enough!" Johnson snaps, slamming his hand down on the desk. He's more furious than I've ever seen him before, his face almost purple with rage. "You will show me the respect I have earned, or you'll both be looking for other jobs by this time next week, Miss Grayson."
"I'd like to see you try to fire us," she snaps right back at him.
"You think you're untouchable because you're hanging onto Colton Walker's coattails?" he asks, his tone mocking again. I always tried to believe that he meant well, always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't mean well. Just like Cadence said, he's a horrible little toad, only out for himself. "You're utterly unremarkable and replaceable, Miss Grayson. You coddle those children to their detriment."
"No," she says, her expression triumphant, as if his verbal strikes haven't even fazed her. "I think we're untouchable because every teacher in this school will tell the whole world how horrible you are before they let you slander Rowan and Dr. Thorne. The people here actually care about her. They love her. You, they can't stand!"
For the first time since I stepped inside this office, I see Johnson falter. Cadence sees it too.
"If you release those pictures," she says, "I'll make sure everyone knows you're the one who did it. I'll make sure everyone knows you did it because you're jealous of Dr. Thorne and of Rowan. They'll all know that you're just a pathetic old man, trying to destroy good people because being a jerk is the only way people pay any attention to you at all."
The self-satisfied gleam in his eyes winks out, doubt creeping in. He hesitates, opening and closing his mouth as if he never before considered that this whole school might turn against him. And that's the moment I realize that he really is a sad little man, one so out of touch with reality, he doesn't even know that he isn't heralded as some savior or wise denizen.
I don't fear him in this moment. I pity him.
"You terrorize the teachers at this school and make our lives a living hell," Cadence says, her voice softer, as if she just came to the same realization I did. "The students are afraid of you. The parents dislike you. Even your own receptionist can't stand you. All you will ever be to the people here is a bully. That's the legacy you're leaving behind. That's what people will remember when you're gone."
"If you try to get Sebastian fired, I'll tell everyone what you're really like," I blurt out, climbing to my feet. My legs tremble beneath me but I stand my ground, standing up for the man I love more than anything. "So will every other teacher in this school. Trying to ruin his career because you're a bully is disgusting, deplorable behavior. I'm ashamed of you."