He smiles knowingly at her and offers to spend the day at the fair after he heads back to his home to shower and change. They agree to meet at noon at the fairgrounds.
Logan leaves after placing a soothing kiss on her forehead and Nikki comes out to join her in the living room.
The next hour is spent as Avery listens to Nikki divulging about her night with Austin. She seems to really like him and she says they did a lot of talking between the many bouts of sex.
Sex.
That’s something Avery hasn’t done in a very long time. Once Declan started showing signs of his illness, he had become too weak and they were afraid he would end up hurt.
Thinking of Declan causes the emptiness in her chest to radiate into aches that seep through her bones. The hurt is so drastic that Avery lets out a squeal of pain, startling Nikki in mid-sentence.
“You ok?” she asks, concern etched across her face.
She rubs Avery’s shoulder gently, hoping to calm her.
“Yea, I’m fine,” Avery replies, schooling her features in agreement with the lie.
“You’re not fine. I’m here going on and on about my night of debauchery and it’s making you miss Nick and Declan.”
A look of shock expels from her eyes.
“Don’t be mad. Melanie told me only so I could look out for you; to be there if you needed me to be.”
“I’m not mad, just…surprised that’s all.”
Avery continues to rub the sting in her chest.
“You’re a terrible liar. But regardless, you know they’d want you to be happy, right? To move on and live a fulfilled life?”
The tears begin building in Avery’s eyes. She has to work to hold back the walls of water from escaping past the lids.
“How can I move on when I did this to them? Why should I get to be happy when I’m the reason they’re gone?”
Surprisingly angry, Nikki moves from the couch and stands before her.
“You can’t seriously believe that, can you? There is no way in the entire world that you could be responsible for their death. Yea, I admit, bad things have happened to the people closest to you, but you can’t let that fear rule your life. No one would want that for you.”
My grandmother would.
Changing her stance, Nikki crouches in front of Avery and takes her hands.
“Look, Logan’s great. If you’re not ready for anything, that’s fine. But if you are, then you should go for it! Nick and Declan would want you to be happy and I will do anything I can to help you see that. I’m a great friend that way,” she says with a signature saucy grin. Continuing, she commands, “But either way, we have a fair to get to so go take a shower and wear something cute.”
With a heavy heart, Avery makes her way to her bedroom and readies herself for the afternoon. Her joyful mood from this morning has been subdued by this angst-filled emotion she has become far too familiar with.
Maybe Nikki is right, she thinks, pawing listlessly through her closet. Maybe she should be happy and just live her life. Figuring out how will be the challenge.
Chapter Four
LOGAN PULLS INTO THE driveway that leads to his home, excitement coursing through him, and finds Austin patiently sitting in his truck, awaiting his arrival.
“Hey man, what’s up?” Logan asks as they both exit their vehicles and make their way to the front door.
“Heard we’re all going to the fair today.”
Damn. Guess there won’t be any alone time with Avery.
“Yep, it’s what Avery wants to do today.”