Red on the River - Page 6

“Let’s leave him out of this. Let’s leave everyone else out but the two of us. We have enough problems without bringing anyone else into our world.”

Deliberately she took another long drink of water. “We have problems? I wasn’t aware, Zale. What kinds of problems do we have? I certainly would never undermine your undercover work. I hope you know that. I can stay in my suite until the final tournament, if that would help.” She did her best to sound accommodating.

“I interrogate prisoners, Vienna. Stop trying to pull off bullshit. I know you would never out me when I’m undercover. That’s not what I’m referring to and you damn well know it. I’m talking about us.”

“Us?” She raised her eyebrow. “There is no us, Zale. If you’re worried I’m going to be clingy or expect something from you at Sam and Stella’s wedding, seriously, there won’t be a problem. It’s been months since we had our little fling. Six weeks together isn’t a relationship. It doesn’t make us a couple. I have no expectations of you. You’re off the proverbial hook.”

He continued to search her face with those dark eyes of his. Eyes filled with temptation and sin. He could easily make her heart skip a beat and her sex dampen with need. Her breasts ached and felt heavy. That was his gift. He could make women want him when he hadn’t said or done anything to warrant it.

“It was six and a half weeks, and I don’t want to be off the hook.” He made the statement quite clearly.

Her heart accelerated. Her pulse leapt and pounded frantically in her neck. It was all she could do to hold herself still, fingers curled around the bottle of water. “One round with you was about all my heart could take, Zale.” She didn’t care what she was admitting to him. “It was beautiful and fun and I’ll cherish those memories. But not again. You’ll have to find someone else for your downtime recreation fun.”

“Is that what you think you were to me?”

She lifted her chin and swallowed more water, letting the cool liquid slide down her throat. “Does it matter what I think, Zale? Quite a bit of time has passed. I’ve got my life and I’m just fine. We were careful. There aren’t any secret babies you have to worry about. I’m not crying every night and begging Sam to find you for me.”

She hadn’t asked Sam once about Zale. She hadn’t even told Sam they’d been together. She was proud of herself for that because it hadn’t been easy. She had cried at night. Not every single night, but she’d cried a lot of nights.

“Would it shock you to know that I asked Sam for updates on you?”

She froze with the water bottle halfway to her mouth. That couldn’t be true. Why would he do that when he’d just packed up and left without saying much of anything? He hadn’t said he’d come back. He hadn’t asked her to wait for him. He’d given her nothing to hold on to. He’d kissed her and walked out of her life. Why would he ask Sam about her?

She regarded him over the water bottle and then took a slow sip of water. What difference did it make? Maybe he was in the habit of asking Sam about all of Sam’s friends. It didn’t change anything. He’d walked out without a backward glance. She knew because she’d stood at the front of the tent and watched him go until the trees and brush had swallowed him up. He hadn’t looked back.

“What could you have possibly wanted to know?” If there was disbelief in her voice, who could blame her?

“I needed to know that you were safe. You were alive and healthy. I didn’t want another man in your life. At the same time, I wanted you to be happy.”

She contemplated that. “Well, there you go, Zale. I’m safe, alive, healthy and very happy. There’s no other man in my life at this time. You can go away feeling very fulfilled by the news.”

The knock at the door signaled the food was there. “I can get it,” Vienna assured. She was weak, but it wasn’t as if she were helpless. Once he ate, he could leave.

“I’ll get the cart. You stay put.” Zale was already up, a flowing ripple of muscle beneath his clothing, gliding across the floor straight on through to the front door. He looked through the peephole to ensure the server had followed instructions, and then he opened the door and drew the cart inside. After checking it carefully for audio and camera devices, he wheeled it into the bedroom.

The moment she smelled food, she was suddenly starving. Vienna might look as if she rarely ate, but she loved good food. The Northern Lights had the best chefs, and she took full advantage of their menu.

There was silence for a few minutes as the two of them began eating, passing condiments back and forth and automatically sharing with each other as they had so easily when they’d been together before.

“You don’t want to know why I would contact Sam and not you?” he prompted when they were eating the dessert—a strawberry and kiwi tart.

“Absolutely I do not.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “I mean it, Zale. I’m not going to be that woman you have your little holiday fun with and then disappear from for months on end. Find someone else. I know I look tough and act it, but I’m not quite as tough as you might want me to be. One go-around with you was enough.”

“For God’s sake, Vienna, it wasn’t like that.”

She leaned forward, looking him in the eyes. “It was exactly like that. And it’s okay. I was thinking one thing, making it all a fairy tale. Women can do that, misunderstand when things aren’t talked about right up front. You had a few weeks off. We had chemistry that was off the charts, and I was a willing partner. For you, we fucked like bunny rabbits for your vacation, and you packed up and walked off without a word and never looked back. My guess is, you do that quite often. Most women know the score. It isn’t your fault I didn’t. But I didn’t, Zale, and I’m not going to lie, it hurt. I got over it because I’m a big girl and I take responsibility for everything I do. That wasn’t on you, it was on me. But I’m not going there again. Why would I want to stick my hand in a very hot fire and get burned all over again?”

He swore and jumped out of the chair to pace across the room and back, his restless movements reminding her of a caged tiger kept in a cramped space. “That’s not how it was, Vienna. I never once thought of you like that. Not once. You meant something to me. Too much to me. I couldn’t let go of you, even though I knew it was the right thing to do.”

“You let go of me when you walked away without a word. It’s been months, Zale.”

He spun around from the inside of the doorway to the bedroom. “You think I don’t know how fucking long it’s been? I count the weeks, the days and sometimes even the hours when I’m lying in a bed somewhere, or on a plane or a train. When I’m trekking through a jungle. You’re always with me, Vienna. I worry about you. Obsess over you. Dream of you. And yeah, that could get me killed in a hot minute—or worse, get you killed. That’s the reason I contact Sam and not you. I can ask Sam using code on an encrypted line. I protected you by following you when you left to go into the forest alone, instead of going with you. I didn’t want anyone to see us together. I suppose that only added to you thinking I didn’t want a real relationship with you.”

She didn’t like the way her heart reacted to his declaration. His voice might ring with truth and sincerity, but he still worked the same job. He still needed to be able to disappear for months at a time. He would still walk away, and she wouldn’t know where he was or even if he was alive. Sam had quit. It wasn’t the same thing. Stella had met Sam after he had decided he was done with his work for the government, or whatever agency they worked for. Zale was still very much working.

Vienna pushed the dessert away and looked at the man she thought was really the perfect man for her. She hadn’t thought any man would ever suit her—but for whatever reason, Zale did. Wasn’t there always a major flaw?

“I appreciate that you would tell me that, Zale, when you didn’t have to.” She rubbed her finger along the duvet cover. The sheets in the hotel were the best she’d ever slept on. The duvet was the same brand and just as heavenly. “The thing is, you’re still working for whatever company you work for. Nothing really has changed. If we hadn’t met in this hotel, you wouldn’t have come looking for me, would you?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I was getting to the point where I was feeling desperate. I made a couple of mistakes on the job. So, yeah, I might have, but I don’t honestly know. But I would have eventually, just maybe not right away.”

“Even if you had, you have no intention of quitting.” She made that a statement, watching his expression closely.

“I signed a contract,” he admitted. “Sam was smart enough to quit signing them. It was far less money, but it also gave him the ability to walk out whenever he wanted. He was concerned about his father, although he didn’t speak to him, but at least he had a family to worry about. I don’t have anyone. That meant I just socked the money away for retirement—if I didn’t die before I got that far. I knew I was locked into that contract and wasn’t about to compromise you in any way. Loved ones can be used to put pressure on us. If enemies find family, they can be turned into weapons against us. Most of the time, when I was alone, thinking about you and trying to find a solution so I didn’t have to give you up, most of what came to me were the worst-case scenarios.”

Tags: Christine Feehan Romance
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