I’m lost in my thoughts as I stare out the front window at the house across the street. Memories replay in my mind—chasing Andy around, watching Jaxon do yard work, and squaring off in the road numerous times.
There’s been no movement there lately. The blinds are still drawn, giving no sign of life. I sigh and cross my arms as a chill washes over me.
Warm, strong arms wrap around my waist, and the sadness I felt moments ago vanishes.
“I’m sorry,” his deep voice whispers in my ear.
I close my eyes and will the tears away.
“Look at me,” he pleads.
I spin to face him—those blue eyes I’ve fallen so deeply in love with draw me in with a gentle but hesitant smile.
He knows he took it too far.
I only give a weak smile in return before looking away. Jaxon pinches my chin with his thumb and forefinger, lifting it so my gaze can’t waver.
“Hey, I said I’m sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
My mind reels over our fight. I can’t just let him off the hook that easily. What he did hurt me.
Jaxon pouts, and his expression is identical to Andy’s—no DNA test needed.
“I don’t know that I can.” My voice is void of emotion.
“Baby,” he pleads.
“Jaxon.” My voice raises. “You ate the last of the Reese’s Puffs cereal, knowing that it’s all I crave these days.”
My hormones have been a raging mess lately. This is clearly karma for all the times I laughed at Dani and Haylee crying while watching coffee commercials while pregnant. I know I owe them a sincere apology.
“Well then, I hope you’re in a forgiving mood because…” He reaches behind him and grabs a bag on the coffee table I hadn’t noticed before to reveal a fresh box of cereal.
Emotions threaten to choke me. Fuck off, hormones—crying over fucking cereal.
Jaxon sets the box back on the table before dropping to his knees and pressing his lips against my swollen stomach.
“Hey, little one in there. I know Daddy upset Mommy earlier, and you’ve been giving her some trouble ever since.” True story—this little one has been practicing karate all morning. “But I promise I made it up to her.” He lifts his gaze back to mine, his eyes darkening to my favorite shade of midnight blue. “And if she’s still mad…” He rises to his feet. “ I promise to make it up after bedtime using my tongue on her sensitive parts to communicate just how sorry I am.” He breathes the last four words against my neck in between kisses.
Goose bumps pepper my flesh, and I can feel my cheeks flush. If I wasn’t already seven months pregnant, I’m pretty sure I would be from his words alone.
I gasp, waking up. My hand flies to my stomach, which is still flat, not swollen with a child like in the dream. Sweat coats my skin, and I brush the fallen strands from my messy bun off my forehead.
It was just a dream. It was only a dream. The pain in my heart was gone, and the fluttering in my stomach felt so real.
I glance beside me to find my sister sleeping peacefully, a stark reminder of last night’s events. She followed me to my house and refused to leave my side. Sometime around two in the morning, I let the mental, emotional, and physical take over, and I passed out, only to let my emotions get the better of me in my dreams.
Sleep evades me the rest of the night, leaving me in the silence. If only my mind were that quiet. It’s in the silence that my thoughts consume me. The what-ifs that forever haunt me.
When the sun shines through the cracks in the blinds, I carefully slip out of bed so as not to disturb my sister. When my mind is racing like this, there is only one place I can think of to go. After a quick shower and throwing on a fresh pair of clothes, I grab my keys and am out the door. Eventually, Lauren will figure it out, but I need a moment to myself to process it all.