“Never claimed I wasn’t, baby,” he taunts back before taking another bite of his meal, making sure his groans of delight tell me how good it is.
Naturally, I roll my eyes at him, with a smile on my lips, of course.
I set my fork down and relax back into my chair. I’m pretty sure the zipper on my dress might burst if I even try to eat another bite.
“Are you ready for Andy to start school in the fall?” Jaxon had recently made an appointment to tour the kindergarten class at Central Academy, the school where Lauren teaches.
Jaxon’s fork drops with a loud clank against the plate as his eyes go wide. “What? Why would you say that?”
“Umm, sorry?” I question, my voice raising an octave higher. I thought it was a simple question to ask, so I’m unsure of why he responded that way.
“No, it’s just with kids—you want them to stay as little as possible, but then you also want to watch them grow up.” Jaxon swirls his wineglass around and stares at it like it holds all the answers. “You’ll understand what I’m talking about when you have kids of your own one day.”
I regret having taken a sip of my own wine at that moment because I sputter the wine back into the glass. I set the glass down and reach for my napkin to clean the liquid dribbling down my chin.
“I’m sorry, did talking about something so heavy freak you out? I guess I’m not up-to-date on what’s appropriate first-date talk.” He laughs nervously.
“No, it just went down the wrong pipe.” I let the lie slip from my lips before reaching for the glass of water in front of me. “Is that something you want?” I ask as my heart beats in my throat, waiting in anticipation for his answer. “More kids?” I clarify when he arches a brow, unsure what I was asking.
He brings his napkin up from his lap and wipes his mouth, then sets it on the table beside his plate.
“Ya know, I never thought I’d want more kids after…” He trails off. “I don’t know, though. That was all before.”
My throat becomes as dry as the Sahara. “Before what?” I can feel my heart racing, and if I’m not careful, it may jump right out of my chest and onto the plate at the table beside us and be served as an entrée.
Jaxon leans forward and reaches for my hand. He links his fingers with mine and squeezes tight. His eyes lock on me, and my mouth goes dry. “You.”
Who knew one word could hold so much power and weight? I guess, of all people, my sister would understand. One word changed her life, just like it has me.
I swallow thickly as the world disappears around us as he slides his thumb back and forth. The touch alone sends a trail of goose bumps up my arm and straight to my nipples, which are now hard and pushing against the material of my bra. The intensity of Jaxon’s stare has me believing the temperature in the restaurant rose.
Is this some sort of sign? First, my sister brings it up, and now it’s been worked into the conversation. If that’s not the world telling me I need to be open and honest with him, well, I’m not sure what is.
I take in this man in front of me, one who was still putting the broken pieces of his life back together but admits for the first time in years, he sees his life moving forward from the pain and loss he’s endured, and here I am about to stomp all over it. This is going to change everything.
I know I should tell him.
I know I need to tell him.
“Jaxon, I, umm…” I begin to say. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, biting down so hard I’m surprised I don’t taste copper. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
He leans forward, and I take a deep breath.
Just as I open my mouth to speak, he reaches into his pocket and retrieves his phone, which is buzzing in his hand. He presses a button on the side and sets it down on the table face down.
“What were you saying?
“I, umm—” The phone begins buzzing again. “You should probably answer that.”
“I’ll call him right back.” He ignores the phone and focuses his blue eyes on me.
Just spit it out, Kate. That way, you get just get it over with. Rip the fucking Band-Aid off. Maybe Lauren was right, and it will all be okay.
“I—”
This time, it’s my phone vibrating. What the fuck? I look down to see my sister calling. I hold my finger to pause this conversation.
“Hello?”
“Kate,” Finn’s voice shouts. “I tried calling Jax, but he didn’t answer. Where is he?”
“Umm, he’s right here.” I look up to Jaxon, confused, and wonder what’s going on.
“Please hand him the phone. I need to talk to him, now,” he barks.
“Okay, hold on.” Something is clearly wrong, and I shakily hold the phone out in front of me.
“What’s going on?” Jaxon stares at my phone for a moment before accepting it.
“Finn. He needs to talk to you.”
“Hey, man, sorry I didn’t answer. Is everything okay?” he asks as he brings the phone to his ear. I take a moment to catch my breath. As I watch his smile fall and the color drain from his face, I know my news will have to wait. Everything happens so fast that I nearly get whiplash.
“We’ll meet you there.” Jaxon quickly rises to his feet, nearly knocking over the chair. “We have to go.” He reaches into his wallet and throws some bills on the table.
I’m grabbing my bag from the back of the chair and look up to see Jaxon all the way by the front door.
I double my pace to catch up with him by his truck. By the time I make it there, he’s hunched over with his palm on the driver’s-side door. I rush to his side and move my hand in circular motions on his back.
“Jaxon, breathe. Breathe, baby. What is it? Tell me what’s wrong?” My voice breaks, but whatever it is, I need to be strong for him.
He looks over, his dark eyes shimmering with unshed tears, and it shatters my heart into a million pieces.
“It’s Andy. They’re headed to the hospital.”