Shaking the memory away, I smile briefly in his direction. As I enter the house I am assaulted by more ghosts of memories past. I see the stairs Emmett would chase me up when we’d realize we had the whole house to ourselves. I see the couch where I made Emmett watch every episode of Lost and he never once complained, even though I know it completely mind-fucked him trying to determine where they actually ended up and searched for answers. I see the dining table where we would play footsie while doing our homework after school with Zach and Haylee.
When I can no longer take a walk down memory lane, I pause and close my eyes, pushing the memories away. When I open them, I look to my left and see Kyler standing there staring at me, trying to get a read on how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. Before I can say anything, he grabs my hand and smiles. “You got this. If it gets too much we can leave, but I really want to share these amazing cinnamon rolls with everyone.”
He then gives me a pleading face, and how can I turn that down? I feel better from his words and comforted by his touch. But my mind goes back to last night, the elephant in the room that we haven’t discussed any further. Maybe he regrets it since he hasn’t brought it up, or maybe he wants me to bring it up, I’m not sure—I’m not sure how to do all of this stuff. It’s new territory for me. It was always so easy for me and Em.
As we approach the kitchen, I can hear a familiar sound that also brings comfort—“Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” by The Beatles. Our parents were obsessed, like legit obsessed, with them. Obsessed to the point where I was shocked that Zach or Emmett weren’t named Paul, Ringo, or hell, even Jude. Anytime a cover band came within a four-hour radius, they went and sometimes even dragged us kids along. I didn’t mind it really; over the years I learned to appreciate all forms of music.
The four of us stand in the hallway leading to the kitchen and watch Dad and Mr. Brian spin Mom and Ms. Natalie around the kitchen. No signs of crying and sadness, just happiness and laughter. It’s as if it’s a normal day for them. If they can be happy, why can’t I?
We stand there in silence, watching till the song ends, and Zach claps and yells, “Encore! Encore!”
My mom jumps and turns around, placing her hand on her chest. I stand back behind Zach out of her view. Her eyes go to Zach first, and when he moves to the side, she sees me and her eyes instantly fill with tears. I squeeze Kyler’s hand, and his thumb brushes over my knuckles. Memories of all the calls and texts I ignored over the years come rushing back to fill my mind, and I can feel my eyes filling up as well. Don’t cry, don’t cry, I tell myself. My mind betrays me as tears stream down my face.
“Hey, Mama,” I manage to get out before she sweeps me into a big hug. My mom always gave the best hugs. I don’t know what it was, but every time I fell and scraped my knees, her hugs always made me feel better. Her shoulders begin to shake as the tears run down her cheeks. I release Kyler’s hand and wrap my arms around her.
“I missed you so much,” she says as her arms tighten around me. I look up to see Ms. Natalie in Mr. Brian’s arms, and she is crying too. Oh my God, maybe me being here was a bad idea—maybe my being here is bringing up all sorts of bad memories for her. Taking my cheeks in her hands, Mom holds me as if she refuses to let me go. “When your brother said you were coming today, I almost didn’t believe him because I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
I feel a hand rub my back as I continue to cry in my mother’s arms. I look up from the crook of her neck and see my dad standing there.
“Hi, Daddy,” I say in between tears. I look at my dad’s face—he looks older as well. Gray threads throughout the hair surrounding his face.
“Hey, baby girl,” he says as he pulls me out of her arms and into his. Zach and Haylee have moved out of the way to the other side of the kitchen to hug Haylee’s parents. Kyler sets the tray of cinnamon rolls on the counter and joins Zach and Haylee standing out of the way of this homecoming moment.
My father releases me from his hug but keeps his arm around my shoulders. Just like my mom, I guess he fears if he lets me go I’ll slip away.
“I hope you don’t mind that I invited Kyler.”
My mom pulls Kyler into a motherly hug. “Of course not. What a wonderful surprise.” He also shakes my dad’s hand. It’s crazy to see his interaction with my family. I forget that he has been around for years, while I haven’t.
I know it’s time to hug Natalie and Brian, but is seeing me too painful? Does it remind them of what they lost?
I cautiously approach Ms. Natalie while everyone stands back watching, but instead of anger or hurt, I see happiness in her eyes. The same look I saw on my best friend’s face when I saw her for the first time in four years. Before I can say anything, she has me pulled into her arms and kisses my temple, just like her son used to. “About time you came home, sweetheart, don’t you think?” she says with a smile. I relax in her embrace. I can feel Mr. Brian close by, but Natalie refuses to let me go so I can hug him. “Get your own Jacobs to hug—I’ve waited four years to hug this one.”
So, he settles for a kiss to the top of my head and mumbles, “Welcome home.”
Everyone laughs in the background as Natalie pulls back but doesn’t let go of my arms. She places her forehead against mine. “No more running, right?” I nod, so she continues. “Because we’re your family here, and I’m tired of just your mom’s help in the kitchen. Haylee’s useless.”
“Hey!” Hails yells from behind me.
Zach puts his arm around her shoulders and kisses her head. “Babe, I love your cooking, but…”
Before he can finish, she puts her forefinger in his face. “Don’t even think about finishing that sentence, Zachary Jacobs!” She narrows her eyes at him, and he playfully bites her finger.
Mom claps her hands together. “Okay, who’s hungry? We’ve got a whole brunch spread made.”
I’m still at Ms. Natalie’s side with my head on her shoulder and my arms around her waist. God, I have missed these people. Mom walks over to the tray that has the cinnamon rolls on it.
“Oh I brought cinnamon rolls; they just need to be warmed up,” I interject while wiping away my tears as she lifts the foil. Kyler coughs and raises his eyebrows at me. I smile and laugh, remembering our deal last night. “Kyler made them.”
“Well, then I’m definitely not eating them,” Zach says as he grabs a strawberry from the bowl and shoves it in his mouth.
Ky punches my brother in the arm and mumbles, “Asshole.”
“Kyler! Language, please,” my mother scolds, getting a rise out of Zach, who sticks his tongue out at Kyler. I’m not sure why I was so nervous about today; it feels as though I never left. Just like Haylee had, my parents and the Hankses seemed to welcome me home with open arms.
“They’re quite a pair, huh,” Haylee says, handing me a mimosa. It feels weird drinking alcohol in front of my parents, but we are all of legal drinking age now. I notice Kyler declined one since he’s driving.
“I think Emmett would’ve loved him,” she adds, grabbing my hand when she senses my body tense up at the mention of his name. “He’s a really good guy—funny, smart, able to handle your brother’s bullshit.”