Just as we’re passing on the pavement, I start to relax. We’re nearly past James, but then Jesse speaks.
‘You got the time?’
WHAT?
The fucking stupid, stupid man! I die a thousand deaths on the spot as I’m forced to stand there holding hands with Jesse, right in front of James. I want to point to the dirty great big Rolex on his wrist, or yank it up and tell him the bloody time myself. He really is a self-absorbed, unreasonable rogue.
Author: Jodi Ellen Malpas
‘Yeah, sure it’s. . . Ava?’ James looks at me, his brow completely furrowed.
My brain’s in complete meltdown, trying to figure out what message it should be sending to my mouth. ‘James,’ I just about manage.
James does a tennis spectator performance, his eyes flicking from me to Jesse and back again. ‘Urhhhh…are you okay?’
‘Yes. ’ My voice is high pitched and squeaky.
He regards me disapprovingly, which is bloody rich, considering he was Matt’s right hand man in all of his transgressions. I don’t even know why I’m bothering to get my knickers in such a twist. After everything Matt has done, what do I care if he receives confirmation of me seeing another man? Now, I just feel furious with Jesse for taking it upon himself to decide when and how things play out.
‘Time?’ Jesse prompts shortly. I hope I’m the only one who can detect the hostility emanating from him.
James turns his stare on Jesse, giving him the once over, faltering when he clocks the Rolex. I mentally plead for him to give Jesse the time and not poke the rattle snake. James can be as cocky as Matt, and upsetting Jesse would be a huge mistake.
‘Yeah,’ He glances down at his phone. ‘It’s ten to two, mate. ’
Jesse doesn’t thank him. Instead, he releases my hand, throws his arms around my shoulder and pulls me into his side, placing his lips gently on my temple. I look up at him, shaking my head in dismay. He’s trampling. His upper body is puffing, and short of banging his fist on his chest, he may as well be pissing up the side of my leg.
James watches, all wide eyed, as Jesse leads us away from him. I’m completely speechless. He’s just made reference to our relationship as little more than fucking, and now he’s marking his territory. I’m so confused by all of this. If I had the courage, I would just come outright and ask him. Why can’t I do that? I know why. I’m worried about what he might say. These shallow waters are becoming trickier to navigate the more time I spend with this man.
As we near my office, he stops and gently presses me up against the wall with his body. He lowers his face to mine, his hot, minty breath warming my cheeks. ‘Why would you not want your ex to know you’re fucking another man?’
There we are. Fucking! ‘No reason, it’s just not necessary. ’ I say quietly.
He reaches up, grasping my wrist to pull my hand down from my hair. ‘Now, tell me the truth. ’ he demands softly.
How has he picked up on my bad habit so quickly? I’ve known my Mum, Dad and my brother all of my life, and Kate since secondary school. They’ve earned the right to this knowledge.
‘Answer me, Ava. ’
‘He asked me to get back together with him. ’ I drop my eyes. I can’t look at him. Not that I should care. After all, I’m only fucking him.
‘When?’ He grinds the words through clenched teeth.
‘It was weeks ago. ’ I feel his hand tighten around my wrist as my muscles flex to raise my fingers to my hair. I’m so bad at lying.
He tips my chin up with his free hand so I’m forced to look at him. I’m not at all comfortable with the blackness burning in his eyes. ‘When?’
‘Last Tuesday. ’ I whisper.
His eyes narrow as he starts chomping on his bottom lip. What’s he thinking? ‘He was your something important that came up, wasn’t he?’
Oh…dear. He’s going to go spare. I watch as his chest puffs in and out, slowly and controlled. I’m not frightened – I know he won’t hurt me. I’ve seen his reaction and subsequent prevention methods to a few bruises on my arse, but he’s just so intense in his reactions and approaches.
‘Yes. ’ I admit quietly. I physically feel the ice air emanate from him at my answer. ‘I need to get back to work. ’ I add. I need to remove myself from this situation.
His sludgy eyes bore into me. ‘You won’t see him again. ’ It’s another demand.
This lunch hour has been a massive eye opener. He wants complete control of me, and I get absolutely no say in it – none at all. Is this what I want? My head is a riot of mixed feelings and doubts. Why did I have to go and fall in love with the ultimate, unreasonable, challenging control freak?