40
Jaxson
Savannah’s howl ripped through my chest, and every fiber in my body screamed for me to run to her, to comfort her, to heal her wounds. “Let me go!” I growled, but the ghost of my sister held me back, gently but firmly.
“She must free her wolf alone. You cannot do this for her,” my sister whispered.
It was true, but how could I sit there while my mate was in pain?
With a snarl, I turned and walked in the other direction, trying to block out the soft, undecipherable sobs filtering through the woods. I rammed my fist into a tree just to feel my knuckles break. Just to have something—the pain—to concentrate on other than my mate’s cries.
Too quickly, endorphins cut in, and the bones began to knit. I pulled my hand back to strike again, but Stephanie grasped my wrist.
“I know what it’s like, Jaxson,” she whispered in my ear.
Bitterness tore at me. She and Billy had been so happy. Back when she was alive, he’d been brave and fierce. Before the grief had torn him apart and filled the cracks with hate and bitterness before the drink took him.
I understood his pain better now, how different it had been even from my own. If anything happened to Savannah, I would burn the world down.
“You truly care for her,” my sister said.
I pulled my hand from her grasp. “Of course I do. She’s my mate. Her pain is my pain, and being apart is like suffocation.”
She gave me a knowing smile that made my blood boil. “It’s more than being fated mates. I see it—you can barely take your eyes off her, and you watch her every moment. Wait for every word. Even if you weren’t fated, I don’t think you would have escaped her spell.”
I rubbed my throbbing fist. It was true. I was fucking bewitched, and I loved it.
Loved her.
Would I ever have the chance to truly love her or know her? We were in the Deadlands, and the way things were going, it was very likely we would be reunited here soon.
She’d gotten a raw deal, but if the fates were kind, I could show her a better life in Magic Side. One without fear and constant running. One where she could trust the pack and learn our traditions. One where I could learn every detail about her past and dreams and desires, and make them all come true.
What would life be like without this blade at our throats?
Bitterness stabbed my chest. “I wish you could have known her, Steph. She’s fierce like you. Loyal. Dedicated. I don’t think there’s a thing in this world that could stand in her way.”
The faintest of smiles graced my sister’s face. “I can tell.”
I shook my head. “You can’t. There’s no way. She can be so hard and strong, it’s blinding, but there’s so much more.” I sighed and scrubbed a hand through my hair. “I wish I could explain the way she sees the world. The first time I picked up one of her sketches, it was stunning. The lines were charcoal black and bold and angry, but together, they made the softest shades. It was like she was only drawing shadows, but those shadows made the light leap off the page.”
Pausing to look up at my sister, I let the heaviness in my heart harden the corners of my mouth. “If she drew me, I wonder what she would see. Would I recognize the man in the picture?”
Stephanie crossed her arms. “I imagine she sees you better than you see yourself.”
I grunted. “I don’t see her clearly at all, but I want to. I want to know her when she’s not running, not frightened, not trying to fight the world. There have been a few moments we’ve stolen, but not enough. And now, I don’t know that we’ll have many more together.”
“She’s fierce, but she’s relying on you to believe in that future, Jaxson. That there is a future.”
“It’s hard,” I whispered, though I would never have admitted it to anyone else.
She rested her hand on my back. “Then do the hard thing. Believe it’s possible.”
I looked back at the ghost wolf alpha, waiting patiently at the far edge of the clearing, watching for movement in the trees down by the lake.
Suddenly aware of the silence, I followed his gaze. Something moved at the edge of the trees. Savannah?
My heart raced.
She emerged into the clearing, naked and human, her red hair dark and dripping with water.
She was human, not a wolf. A weight descended in my chest. Had she failed? The howl—I was certain she must have broken the spell. But had her wolf somehow rejected her?
With a furious gesture, Savy tossed a bundle of clothes at the base of a tall tree and strode up the hill.
“She is beautiful,” my sister whispered.