Mila appraised him. The last time she’d seen Jackson was at a restaurant with Tiffany and she didn’t want to dwell on it. Mostly because it led to memories of Maddox. “Why are you here?”
“I don’t really know.” He ran his hand through his shaggy brown hair. “After my fiancée ended it, I realized I could see you, so I asked your mother where you were. I’d heard rumors that you’d left San Francisco.”
Her mother was handling all of it better than expected. Though Mila knew she wanted to drill her about why they broke off the engagement, her mother had kept her distance, which was a relief.
Jackson added after dropping his eyes, “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind seeing me.”
Mila wanted to be guarded and angry, but she was too emotionally drained. She didn’t know anyone in Milan that well yet and there was no one she could talk to. Except for her aunt. But the distance made that more challenging too.
“You got me fired,” she said flatly. If he was going to hang around, she needed to set certain things straight. “And you lied to me. I realize we weren’t anything, but you still should have told me you were engaged.”
He nodded slowly. “I know. And I’m sorry, Mila. I want to make it up to you.”
Mila shrugged. She wasn’t able to make a big deal of anything right now. Especially about something that had mattered little to her in recent history. “I guess I won’t argue with that.”
He gave her a partial smile. “Well, it’s not a welcome wagon, but it’s not a rejection either. So, I’ll take it.”
Mila assumed Jackson wouldn’t stay in Italy very long, but he hung around for a while. To some extent, hanging out with Jackson was like it had been before everything happened. She had to admit it was nice to be with someone familiar even with their sketchy history.
As they ate dinner at her apartment weeks later, he asked, “Did you love Maddox?”
“Yes.” She picked at her pasta. It was easy to say that even with how things had ended. It didn’t mean she no longer cared for him.
Jackson tilted his head. “I believe you, but it’s hard to imagine.”
“I realize most people wouldn’t understand.” She wondered a lot if she’d been delusional. Was Maddox really what he appeared to be on the surface after all? “What about you? You were together with your fiancée for a long time.”
Jackson shook his head. “I’m afraid not. For her either. It was entirely a relationship of convenience on both sides.”
Mila dropped her eyes to where her engagement ring had been. She wondered for the millionth time if Maddox had loved her in return or if the engagement had been a convenient business opportunity. She’d probably never know for certain.
As Jackson was leaving that night, instead of just saying good-bye as usual, he put his hands on her waist and drew her closer.
Strangely, Mila didn’t feel like objecting.
“This is familiar,” she said. “And it didn’t go so well for me before as I remember.”
“Things are different now,” Jackson said quietly. “For both of us. I can have you now and I want you.”
Part of her wanted to push away. After all, she had no good reason to trust Jackson. But another part thought about Maddox going about his business without giving her a passing thought. Possibly even flirting with his next target who could help push his agenda forward. She’d been a fool and she knew it.
She didn’t move or draw away as Jackson kissed her. Mila wasn’t sure how she felt about it even though she surrendered ever so slightly as he put his arms around her. She could sense he knew it as he tightened his grip.
As she tried to sleep that night, she thought about the first time Jackson kissed her in New York. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about it. She was still trying to figure it out when she’d learned he was engaged. After that, her life went in a new direction, and she hadn’t looked back. Or even wanted to.
Were things any different now?
When Jackson took her out to a local place the next night, she was honest with him. “I don’t know how I feel about you,” she told him as they strolled along a cobbled stone street. “I never did.”
“I’m sure that was my fault.” He smiled. “I never dove in.”
“Maybe.” Mila dropped her eyes. “But I want you to know that I can’t promise anything right now.” She wouldn’t dive into a new relationship to try and escape. And her feelings for Jackson were nebulous anyway.
“I’m not in a rush.” Jackson tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Though I do want to take you out on a proper date.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” She knew it technically didn’t matter now, but it still made her uneasy. What if someone they knew saw them together? The last thing she wanted was more gossip spread about her.
“You need time to think. What better way to think than over dinner?” He grinned.
Mila laughed lightly. “I guess it would be okay.” It might take her mind off Maddox for a bit at least.
His smile widened. “Of course it would.”
Jackson’s confidence didn’t entirely take her worries away, but it did help her to agree to it. She only hoped she wouldn’t live to regret it.