SCOTT
Iwould have figured after a night like we had with Grace, this trip would have been easy. I’d assumed after one night I’d have gotten my attraction out of my system. Sleeping under the stars, normally something that grounded me, instead was interrupted with the images of us flashing over and over in my head.
Knowing how quickly I was beginning to need her, all I could think about was how I needed space from Grace when we got back. Which in turn made my heart ache. I needed to step back. I couldn’t risk having my heart torn apart again.
After Hannah had died, I knew I wanted to be alone for the rest of my life. I couldn’t go through that pain of losing the woman I loved ever again. Then Ty convinced me that maybe living the Cosland way, I didn’t need to give my full heart when there was more than one man loving a woman. I truly thought that would work, until Grace walked into our lives.
I hadn’t expected to feel these intense emotions for another woman again. Grace was beautiful, smart, confident, and sexy. When I wasn’t around her, I wanted to see her. She made me laugh, called me out when I was broody, kept up with Ty, and had me seeing stars in bed.
I wasn’t sure how I could continue to see her, knowing it wasn’t going anywhere.
“Seriously, dude. I can hear the hamster in your head running a mile a minute. What’s up?” Ty threw a rock at my boots.
My eyes were starting to dry out from staring into the fire for so long. I couldn’t sleep. It was Ty’s watch right now, but with my mind running, I couldn’t rest.
“Just thinking about Grace.”
He grinned. “Fuck yeah. So am I.”
“Not like that.” I sighed.
He threw his hands up. “What do you mean? How else would you be thinking of her?”
“I need to take a step back. It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did. It’s all going too fast.”
“She’s getting to you. You like her more than you want to admit.” Those weren’t questions. He could read me like an open book.
“The other night was too much for me.”
“Bullshit. You were right there the whole time. If it was too much, you would have walked away.”
“Fuck you.” Why did he have to be right?
“No, fuck you. I know you. You’re scared. Scared because you have feelings for her you don’t want to admit to yourself. Just because you didn’t want that to happen doesn’t mean that it didn’t.”
“I didn’t sign up for this, Ty. We agreed that if we shared a woman, I wouldn’t have to put my whole heart into it.”
“You really thought that was how it would be?” He stared at me over the fire. “Sharing a woman was going to make it easier to ease you into the relationship, but you would still be in it one hundred percent.”
He didn’t understand. “But I can’t be in it one hundred percent.”
“Yes, you can. And you will. Grace deserves your whole heart, not just scraps you’re willing to give her.”
I knew he was right. Grace deserved better. Maybe that meant I wasn’t the right guy for her. My heart gave a painful twist. I wish it would get the memo that this thing with Grace wasn’t going to be long term.
All I wanted to do was get back and hold her in my arms. Ty wanted Grace just as much as I did. Even if I still didn’t believe it would work out for me, I had to figure out how to be there for Ty.
“Stop thinking,” Ty called. “You deserve happiness again. Hannah wouldn’t want you to live your life the way you have been. Grace is good for you. I’ve seen you around her. She makes you smile.”
“Okay, but what about this? Grace is nine years younger than us. She’s still in her twenties. She has so much more to do with her life than to just be with us.” Maybe that would knock some sense into him.
Ty was ready to settle down and find a woman to spend the rest of his life with. At twenty-five, Grace still had so much more to think about. When he was her age, he was playing the field, discovering what he liked, having fun. That was what Grace should be doing.
“Well, maybe she just needs some mature men to help her see what she could have. Help her take control of her life again.”
“And you think we’re the men to help her with that?” I knew the answer. I wanted to be one of the ones who helped her find herself. I wanted her to be happy. For the first time, I admitted I wanted to be happy, too. And since Hannah, my happiness had always seemed just out of reach.
“Of course, I do. I think you need to let some of those walls down and give Grace a chance. We don’t even know if she would want anything more. Let’s give her the right now and hope that she wants more in the future. You’re stressing out too much over this.”
I still wasn’t totally convinced. “You don’t think we’re too old for her?”
“Hell no. Plus, we can still be young and fun. Maybe we should find ways to show her we can be both.”
“Like what?” I asked, feeling my internal warning systems kicking in trying to protect me now that he was starting to plan on ways to keep Grace with us.
“Let’s take her on a date and bring her to town. Show her around.” He scratched his jaw. “I think I can come up with a few ideas and get back to you. I just need you to agree to give this a chance.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll give this a chance. I’ll let Grace decide if we are worthy of her.” I sighed.
Ty moaned. “Good. Fuck I can’t wait to get back to her.”
“Now that you guys have that settled, will you shut up and get some sleep?” Travis groaned and rolled away from the fire. I chuckled and shut my eyes, picturing Grace running toward us when we returned in two days.