“He put his hands on me, spat at me, he raped me.” The pain, the visual, burns in my brain, like the worst reel on repeat. “I get he’s upset over Camden and my drunken tattoo, but that doesn’t give him the right to do what he did. There’s no coming back from that. Ever. I thought about filing a restraining order, but I don’t want it to get ugly, and trying to prove my husband raped me will get messy. While I was waiting for you to come over, I was reading about it online and found so many women who tried to prove their husbands were raping them and couldn’t. But I am filing for divorce as soon as possible.”
“Good. My stepdad will know someone. I'll call him first thing in the morning, and we’ll get the ball rolling. But if he so much as lays a finger on you again, you need to file a restraining order so you know you’re safe.” She takes my hand in hers and squeezes it. “I’m proud of you.”
“For what?”
“A lot of women would’ve made excuses, tried to fix it, or blamed themselves. For years, that’s what my mom did with my dad after his accident. He became addicted to drugs and would drink to numb the pain. She felt bad for him and kept hoping he would get better. It took her nearly getting beat to death before she finally left him. I’m proud of you for knowing what he did was wrong and unacceptable and not giving him the chance to do it again.” She wraps her arms around me. “We’ll get through this. He’ll never fucking touch you again.”
The next morning, I drop Felix off at my mom’s, and Kaylee and I go to the divorce attorney her stepdad recommended. It’s Sunday, but he apparently owes her stepdad a favor so he meets with us. After spending the night thinking about what David did to me, I decide to mention the rape, asking his opinion on what I should do.
He tells me what I feared—proving my husband raped me will get messy, and since there are no marks on me from where he slapped me, it would be my word versus his. He tells me he can take it on, but he can’t be sure we’ll win. It would be a battle that I would most likely lose because our judicial system is far from perfect. Knowing David will get away with it pisses me off and makes me feel sick to my stomach, but I can’t drag my son through a messy court battle. Maybe that makes me weak or a horrible person, but I just can’t do it.
After agreeing the best course of action is to simply file for divorce, we go over all the details, and when we’re done, he says he’ll have the papers filed first thing in the morning, and David will be served by the end of the day. When I explain I’m not sure how I’ll be able to pay for this since I’m currently jobless, Kaylee insists she’ll cover it, and I can pay her back. I want to argue, but I also want this over with as soon as possible, so I agree and thank her.
Not wanting to be home when David gets the papers, I head over to my mom’s so I can tell her everything that’s happened. She cries when I give her a less descriptive version and offers to have Felix and me move in with her.
David never calls or texts all day Sunday, so I know he never came home, but we spend the night at my mom’s anyway. I don’t want to take the chance of being there when he does go home. Monday morning, instead of dropping Felix off at school, I keep him home, unsure of how David will react when he gets the papers. I never thought he was capable of violence, but I was clearly wrong, and I’m not going to risk something happening to my son or me. He’ll need time to cool down, and it’s best if we stay away until he can do that.
I know when David gets served because my phone starts blowing up with phone calls and texts from him. The texts start off with him upset, asking to talk, but then quickly morph into anger.
“He’s going to come here,” I tell my mom when I read the text from him that says he was just at the house and we’re not there.
Mom nods. “Why don’t we have Felix go over to the Blackwood’s to play so he’s not here?”
“I hate involving them.”
“They’re like family, Layla. And it’s to protect your son.”
I agree, and after Mom calls Sophia, I take Felix over there with the Sega Genesis he’s become obsessed with. Thankfully, it’s only Nanna, Sophia, and Easton at home, so I don’t have to see Camden. I thank them for watching Felix and ask that if by some chance David shows up, to please not open the door. Easton promises he’ll keep my son safe.