I hesitate before I leave his truck. “I feel like we’re back where we started.”
“This is the closest we’ve ever gotten. She was blackmailing someone, Daley. If that’s not a good reason to kill her, I don’t know what is.”
“But who is Queenie? And what did Megan have?”
“I don’t know,” he says softly, shaking his head. “But we’re going to figure it out.”
I say goodnight and head inside. I watch Rian’s truck roll away from the front porch. The house is quiet, and I head into the kitchen to grab a glass of wine to help me unwind. I’ve never been a drinker, but with all this time spent around Rian, with all this blood and pain, I feel like I need a little something to help ease the stress.
As I pour the glass, I look out the back window. Aiden’s out there, sitting at the patio table with his laptop open. I can’t see what he’s doing, but he’s got a glass of whisky at his elbow and he seems tired, constantly rubbing his eyes and yawning.
I don’t want to see him. Aiden’s the last person in the world I want to talk to right now. He’s so excited to sell me to some other family, it’s almost disgusting. I’ve never felt so less than human, and he’s supposed to be my brother.
Anger pushes me into a decision. I head to the back door with my glass of wine and push it open. He looks over as I step outside and close it behind me.
“What are you doing still up?” he asks, shutting his laptop. He picks up his glass and sips it.
“Couldn’t sleep.” Which is obviously not true since I’m still in my work clothes. But he doesn’t say anything about that. I sit down at the table with him and pull my legs up to my chest. “Where’s Dad?”
“In his office. Callum and Nolan are out.” Aiden tilts his head. “Have you thought about that list I gave you?”
“I haven’t even looked at it yet.”
“You should do that. We’ve got some plans brewing and I want you on board.”
“On board with what?”
“You’ll see.” He grins at me, sipping his drink.
I stare back at him, fury boiling in my veins. “Aiden, why do you hate me so much?”
That seems to surprise him. “I don’t hate you.”
“Bullshit. You’ve hated me ever since Shane died. I don’t know why, but you treat me like I’m a braindead moron, and you’re clearly angry about Dad letting me go to college and all that. Why do you hold it against me so much? I don’t understand it.”
He’s quiet for a moment, staring at his laptop contemplatively. I let the silence simmer. I want to keep exploding, but I know yelling at him will only make things worse. Finally, he takes a breath and shakes his head.
“When Shane died, my life changed.” I open my mouth to tell him all our lives changed, but he keeps going. “I went from the second oldest to the oldest, and suddenly all this responsibility is heaped on my head. I was thinking about going to college when it happened. I’d taken the SATs and was getting my shit together, and Dad was encouraging me. Dad thought it was a good idea if one of his children got a real degree. He talked about how I could help take some of the business legit. I had a whole plan for myself.” He looks at me then, and the anger is there; it’s always there. I don’t remember a time when Aiden wasn’t angry. “Then Shane died.”
“You’re jealous of me?” I ask him, shaking my head. “Come on. That’s crazy. You love the clan.”
“But it’s the truth. I wanted college. I wanted the business side of the clan. I thought I could do big things if I got a degree, but then I became the heir and that possibility was closed forever. I’m angry and jealous, Dale, because you got what I was never given, and for nothing. Dad just handed you the life I’d worked hard for, and I’ve always resented you for that. I’ve had to sacrifice for the clan. Why shouldn’t you?”
His rage clicks into place then. I can see it, all the way back to when we were kids. Aiden was a good student, took a lot of extracurriculars, and got made fun of by the other clan kids back in the day. I never understood why he was putting himself through hell with tutors and studying and chess club and model UN until right now, and suddenly his resentment and anger make sense.
He sees my life as the life he wanted, and I did nothing to earn it. Not like he did.
But I didn’t hurt him. I didn’t take his dreams away. That was Dad. It’s always Dad, and now Aiden’s doing to me exactly what Dad did to him, and the cycle continues. He can’t see it because he’s too angry and too far gone, but the irony is almost painful for me.