I gulped back emotion, frustrated that he was reading me so easily. I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand anything anymore. I didn’t understand the headmaster for starters. He was so contradicting at times. And did Isaiah tell him of my plans? Did he tell him about our deal? Did he put it together that I was planning on running? That I would soon disappear from St. Mary’s all together? Surely not, because wouldn’t that go back on him? For not watching over his students closely enough? Did I even want to put someone through that spectacle? Richard would want someone to blame other than himself, and Headmaster Ellison’s head would be on the line.
Up ahead, students roared with cheers as a whistle blew. I could see the very faint glow of the fire from the hillside as Cade started to head toward it. He called over his shoulder, “As much as I’d like to stick around and talk about how fucked up we all are, I’m going to get back to the bonfire before Coach flips his shit that Isaiah and I are missing.”
Isaiah made no move to leave. Instead, he was staring at his uncle with so much vile that I shivered in my spot.
“I want to kill him.” The hate in Isaiah’s words rooted me to the forest floor. The muscles along his temples flickered within their shadows. “Same goes for Cade’s father, and Brantley’s, and fuck, maybe even Jacobi for leaving me high and dry.” The headmaster said nothing, and his face was expressionless. Even with the thick darkness that laid around us, I could see that he was calm and collected. Isaiah’s gaze shot to mine for a fleeting second before he was glaring back at his uncle. “I want to kill Judge Stallard, too.”
My stomach rolled as the name left his lips. How did Richard even end up in this conversation? How did I even end up in this conversation?
The headmaster stepped forward and gripped Isaiah’s head within his hands. Isaiah’s brow line deepened. “You will kill no one, Isaiah. No matter how badly they fucking deserve it.”
My lips parted as Isaiah flung his uncle’s hands off his face. “And who’s going to stop me?”
The headmaster briefly caught my eye before staring at Isaiah directly in the face. He took his pointer finger and pushed it onto Isaiah’s hard chest. “You. You’re going to stop you. Because you are not your father.” He swallowed roughly. “Remember who you are.”
Isaiah’s head slanted, peeling his glare away. “And how do you know that, Uncle Tate? Maybe I am just as bad as him, because I feel the darkness. I feel that automatic pull to fucking destroy those who deserve it. Starting with Bain.”
A faint, choppy laugh left the headmaster. “I know it because your father would never give up his wants for someone else. Not like you are doing for Jack. Not like you will do for those that you love. And he doesn’t destroy people who deserve it, Isaiah. He destroys innocent people who stand in his way. You know this.”
They stared at each other for so long I began to feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because I felt like I was intruding. Uncomfortable because whatever they were talking about went much deeper than what was at the surface, and I wasn’t sure Isaiah even wanted me around to hear such things. To see such things. I knew I wouldn’t if I were him. If I were digging up something from my dark and twisted life, I wouldn't want anyone to hear it.
Another whistle blew, and we all heard Isaiah’s name come from someone’s mouth. He sighed as his head dropped.
The headmaster took a step back. “You two go somewhere for the evening. Go to the library. The art room. Somewhere away from here. I don’t want you around Bain tonight.”
Isaiah gave him a look, but the headmaster shook his head. “I will handle it. I’ll tell Coach that your lovely tutor here”—he gestured to me—“is helping you study for a test tomorrow. He wouldn’t want his best player getting expelled by the SMC for not raising those grades now, would he?”
“And what about Bain?” Isaiah asked, clearly annoyed that his uncle was banning him from the bonfire. “I’m sure Cade and Brantley will let you know if something seems off. They’ve always done so in the past, yes?”
Isaiah went to say something, but I took a step forward, snagging his attention. Something flickered across his face, and his shoulders lowered a fraction. “Okay.”
The headmaster started to back away, and his lips lifted just a fraction as he threw Isaiah’s phone toward him. “Take the night off from Isaiah Underwood, nephew. You deserve it.”
Before the headmaster got too far away, Isaiah shouted, “And Jack is good? You talked to him?”
“I talked to both him and Mary. They’re together. She has him. Now go be teenagers.” He paused. “But…be good.” He flipped back around and called over his shoulder. “And don’t take my car.”
Isaiah grunted under his breath with his back toward me. My lips begged to twitch into a smile, which was so absurd given all that had just happened a few moments ago. From Isaiah’s little brother…to the headmaster calling out me, Isaiah, and Cade on the fact that we had less-than-stellar upbringings…to the emotional conversation between Isaiah and his uncle. It was all so much, yet here I was, wanting to smile. Don’t take my car. I think I liked the headmaster.
Isaiah’s hands found his waist as his head dropped to the ground. He was still facing away from me, and the ridges of his back were hard and tense. I’d bet if his shirt was off, I’d be able to count each muscle along his shoulders.
Taking one step toward him, I said, “Your uncle is…unusual.”
A sharp laugh left Isaiah’s mouth as his head popped up. He caught a glimpse of me over his shoulder and then began to turn around. “That’s what you have to say after all that you just witnessed? That my uncle is...unusual?”
I shrugged, wrapping my arms around my torso. There was a nip in the air, and while I had been warmed by the fire up on the hill, I was definitely chilly without it. “He’s just…” A soft laugh floated out of my mouth. “I can’t figure him out.”
Isaiah and I were only a few feet apart now, standing in the middle of a circle of pine trees that went so high they looked as if they touched the stars. Silvery moonlight cascaded over our heads, and when our eyes caught, I knew the light moment was fleeting. “What are you thinking right now?” He looked away, showing off that flawless skin of his. “I’m honestly afraid to even know.”
I chewed on my lip, my eyes burning a hole through his high cheekbone before taking another step toward him. “I’m thinking I want to know more about Jack.”
Isaiah’s head whipped toward me so fast I felt the strands of his hair fly past my face. “You want to know more about my brother?”
Lifting a shoulder, I smiled shyly. “He seems important to you.”
“He is.” Silence stretched around us. The faint sound of the bonfire caught my attention, along with the chanting of the forest, but before long, Isaiah’s hands dropped, and he began walking farther into the wooded area with me following after him.
The farther we walked, the further the silence stretched. The trees grew more crowded, and the branches and twigs were messier, and they would have slashed at my bare legs, but Isaiah was always quick to move them out the way so I could move by easily. We were still walking when he finally broke the silence. “I’ve never told anyone about Jack.”