Isaiah
I slowly tooka step away from Gemma, fighting every last feeling that was trying to escape out of my chest. I was empty before she came into my life, and now, I was flooded with shit I didn’t want to deal with.
I hate you.
Hearing those words cut me deeper than I thought possible. But they were needed. They were needed in the most tortuous way. I hated that Brantley was right. I was stupid to think that it wouldn’t end up this way. That she wouldn’t be standing here, confused and hurt, and that I wouldn’t be standing here, holding my bloody heart in my hands as she threw it back at me. She didn’t even know I’d given her my heart. I didn’t even know. I didn’t even know I had much of one to begin with, and here I was, bleeding out with her standing just a few feet away.
“Why were your hands on her when I came up?” I asked again, looking directly at my two best friends. Anger simmered as I shoved my hands in my pockets, putting more space between Gemma and me. So fucking badly did I want to pull her in close and kiss her to erase everything that had just happened. But at the same time, I wanted to express how angry I was that she went behind my back and snuck out of St. Mary’s. If she would have stayed in her fucking room like I’d told her to, then we wouldn’t be in this position. I wouldn’t be standing here, glaring at my two best friends like I wanted to rip their fucking heads off for touching her.
When I’d walked up, after jogging through the forest for what seemed like hours, I stopped dead in my tracks. Heat had spread to my groin as I zeroed in on Gemma’s face. Her head was tilted to the side as pleasure coated her features, but then that heat turned to an inferno when I’d realized that not only were Brantley’s lips on her neck, but Cade’s were on her stomach. Deep down, I knew there was an explanation—or I’d at least hoped—but right now, I was in the mood to break shit. And their faces would work.
“Calm the fuck down, Isaiah.” Cade rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You should know better than to think that we were out here seducing Gemma after your father came close to fucking raping her.”
I cracked my neck and growled. Not the thing to say to me at a time like this. “Care to explain, then?” I barked, walking closer.
Brantley sighed as he stepped beside Cade, appearing bored. “She was losing her shit. Freaking out. Saying shit that didn’t make sense, like she was revisiting the past…and we couldn’t get her to snap out of it, so…”
I saw Gemma move out of the corner of my eye. “So they started touching me, and guess what, Isaiah?”
All three of us looked over at Gemma with her sly little smirk.
Jesus Christ. What did I do to her? The sweet, good-girl version of Gemma was long fucking gone, and in her place was this confident, fiery, hot-as-sin girl taking control of the situation. If I thought she was hot before, when she’d spout off those snarky remarks, now, I was certain that she was the only girl on earth that would make my dick hard. Stop thinking about her like that.
My tongue ran over my lips slowly. “What?”
Her cheek rose. “I liked it. I liked having their hands on me, and you know what else?”
My blood ran hot as I trailed a heated look down her body. She was filthy from being shoved to her knees and running through the forest, but still, I wanted to pull her into my arms and show her that she was mine. Even though she wasn’t. Not anymore. “What else?” I asked, my voice thick.
“It worked like a charm.” She strode over to me, and I heard a snicker come from Brantley. I stood eerily still, unable to move away even if I’d wanted to. “Your two best friends snapped me out of the panic that you”—her finger poked into my chest, and my dick jumped—“put there.”
“I think this is our cue to go,” Cade mumbled.
I stayed locked on Gemma as I dug into my pockets and threw the keys at him. I waited until their footsteps disappeared before I gripped Gemma around the waist and quickly flung her up against the same tree that my friends had her pinned to just moments ago. Her chin tipped upward, and I saw the way her fear flared, but she didn’t back down. Her eyes didn’t dart away. She kept a hold of me just as firmly as I kept a hold of her, and for some reason, I really hoped that meant she still trusted me—if even a fraction.
“Don’t you mean the panic that you put there,” I hissed through my teeth, knowing I needed to take my hands off her body and take a step back...but fuck, I couldn’t. I was selfish. It was the entire reason we were even standing here in the first place. “You were the one that left your warm bed, climbed into Bain’s G-wagon, and came here when I specifically told you not to.” Her lips clamped as her breathing picked up. I moved my hands up slightly so I could fold them around her rapidly rising ribcage, realizing how easy it would be to pick her up and wrap her legs around my waist. “I said those things about you so that my father didn’t fucking know that I cared about you. If he even saw an ounce of concern on my face when he had a hold of you, he’d know.”
Her shaky fingers came up, and she grabbed my wrists tightly. “He’d know what?”
“That you meant something to me! And do you think he’d let you go unscathed if he knew that I cared for you? He’d find a way to use you as leverage to make me do what he wants. He’s already using Jack. He’d use you too.” My father was manipulative. I knew him better than most.
Her gulp sounded out around us as I stared down at the shadows along her face. Her features were tight, and the anger was still there, but her voice was level as her nails dug into my skin. “You could have told him I wasn’t Bain’s girlfriend. That Bain wouldn’t care if something happened to me.”
I laughed sarcastically, tipping my head up to the stars. “And you think that would have saved you from the compromising situation I found you in? He’d still try to fuck you, Gemma.” My shoulders tightened as her breaths rushed out in hot spurts. I was certain she was remembering just how terrified she was with him standing over her like he owned her. God, I hated him. “And how would you explain knowing that Bain had a car? Or where he parked it? Or how you got his keys? Better yet, how the fuck you knew about the Covens?” I barked the last question out, not knowing exactly how much she knew of the psych hospital, but her mouth slammed shut. “It was either make you seem like you were Bain’s little slut and play along, or allow him to see that you meant something to me. One is easily reconciled. The other is not.”
Silence fell between us, and it was heavy. Both of our chests were heaving. The air that surrounded us was full of anger and confusion. I gripped her tighter, the cotton of her tank top bundling in my fingers, and her hands around my wrists grew firmer. “And do you, Isaiah? Do you care for me? Because the things you said…”
She trailed off, and I felt my stomach pull. Say no. Make her hate you. Do it. “Yes.” Fuck. Gemma’s mouth parted with my admission, and those sweet lips called out to me as heat warmed my veins. “But this...” I pushed my knee in between her jean-clad legs, small pieces of dried mud flying off and hitting the ground below us. “...is over.”
There it was. That flash of hurt and confusion all over again. But then the little etch in between her eyebrows smoothed out. “Why? Do you suddenly feel bad for making me a player in your game with Bain and your father? Who’s actually using me, Isaiah? Is it Bain? Or is it you?”
“I wanna know something,” I snapped, ignoring her question solely because I didn’t want to answer it. There were too many things that went into my answer, and soon she’d be leaving St. Mary’s, and it wouldn’t matter. “Why didn’t you just wait for me? I thought you trusted me, Gemma. If you wanted to come back here, for whatever reason, I would have brought you myself.”
I knew the reason. I knew she had recognized this place, and she was curious. But why didn’t she just ask me? Why do this on her own? What was she fucking thinking? If she would have just waited, this wouldn’t have happened. My father wouldn’t have this perfect visual inside his sick head of her pretty little face, and I wouldn’t have stood there, feeling complete fucking terror.
A laugh flew from her mouth and hit me square in the face. Her hair fell behind her back as she looked up to the dark sky in frustration. “It’s clear you don’t know me at all. Why would I risk you getting caught?” She suddenly brought back those glossy eyes to me, and I stilled. “Did you forget that I know what’s at stake if you get caught sneaking out? What happens if you and I both get caught off school grounds, Isaiah? Together? I wouldn’t be able to cover for you and lie to the SMC and say we were studying all night! We’d be caught red-handed in our little ploy, and you’d be expelled, and then what would happen to Jack?” Another laugh came from her, and it dripped with sarcasm. “And after meeting your father? I can say I made the right choice. A child shouldn’t be left alone with a man like that.” Her next words were a whisper. “I should know.”
My eyes shut as something in my chest pulled and tugged. I repeated her words in my head, replaying them a few times because I was a glutton for torture. I growled, gripping her torso harder. Of course I hadn’t forgotten that she knew. Aside from the Rebels, Gemma knew more about me than anyone else. And although I needed to stay angry with her over the fact that she put herself in that dangerous situation, I suddenly wasn’t any longer. I was more angry with myself, and my father, but not her. She didn’t tell me she was coming back here to protect me and my fucking little brother. Jesus.
I opened my eyes up again. Gemma was staring at me, and a part of me cracked wide open. “You are too good, Gemma. And that’s exactly why this is done.” I couldn’t stand the thought of her being any more mixed into this than she was. I should have kept my distance once I saw she’d caught Bain’s interest. I should have just watched her from afar. It would have been harder, but it was doable. I’d already been keeping hefty tabs on Bain. I could have put even more pressure on him. Get more eyes on her without interfering. Without kissing her. Without making everyone think she was mine and that she was untouchable. I had fucked up by giving her extra attention, by asking for her help with tutoring. I had subjected her to this.
Gemma kept a hold of my stare, and I kept going, my grip on her getting tighter and tighter, as if my body knew that this was the last time I’d have her in my hands. “We will continue tutoring. You’ll keep meeting me in the library after lacrosse and acting as if you’re helping me improve my grades. If anyone asks, you’ll say I was there with you, even if I leave. Just like we’d talked about in the beginning. And when it’s all said and done, when I’m off probation with the SMC, you’ll have everything you asked for, and then you’ll fucking leave, and you will never come back.” Then she’d be safe.
My words were harsh. They implied that I didn’t want her to come back. That I didn’t want to see her again. And the trembling of her lip told me that she was thinking exactly that. “Fine,” her voice cracked as her head turned away.
My jaw ticked, my teeth grinding together as I watched the side of her face nearly crumble. “So, you agree? You and I are done.”
Her hands slowly dropped from my wrists, and she brought her gaze back to mine. She put up a good front, but I felt the way her chest caved. She sucked in air as she blinked away the tears. “Yes.”
Let her go. Let her fucking go.