Amon looked especiallyromantic out by the loch, with the hills rolling around us and the black sheet of his hair playing on the breeze. His eyes were focused forward as we walked, but there was a slight feline curve to his mouth that made it clear he was aware of just how thoroughly I was admiring him.
"We're lucky Mr. Tanner found you for Rooksgrave before the theater discovered you," Amon said. His eyes were just a little tight. Enough that I thought he didn't love the idea of the theater's audience watching me on stage, but he hadn't made a complaint yet.
"That's probably true," I said, grinning as his head whipped to me, glaring just a touch until he realized I was teasing. "But I've never been very good at following directions."
"Mmm, it does take…reinforcements," he answered, eyes warming to caramel brown. "You enjoy being admired."
"I do. You do too," I pointed out, and he dipped his head in acknowledgment. "If we ever meet an akkorokamui,” Amon huffed out a laugh, heading shaking as I continued, "I may have a request. But otherwise, I…"
We were nearly back to the manor, most of the walk spent catching up or enjoying each other's quiet company, and Amon's steps slowed as he waited for me to finish my thought.
"I'm learning that I like the intimacy that comes with…with knowing my partner. It makes sex better. And I value it on its own too," I said, watching every minute twitch of Amon's reaction.
His eyes landed on the water, watching the faint rippling of the surface. It was my turn to wait on him, and I did so for a long stretch, memorizing the lines of his lips and the deep dip of the upper bow.
"I want that with you, my star, but I feel as though my place with you has already been claimed," he said, voice floating away from us as though I wasn't meant to hear.
"It isn't," I said, and he finally met my gaze again, eyes widening slightly. "Unless what you want from me is to possess me completely without room for the others."
"I would give you anything you asked from me," Amon said, turning me to face him, hands cupping my shoulders gently, fingers brushing over the bared skin at the collar.
"I don't think you would really want me if I was the sort of girl who handed you a list of possessions I wanted in order to hand myself over to you," I said softly. "You could've found that already. I know you can be good to me, but I need to know if you can be good to them as well."
Amon blinked at me, and I held my breath. "You have connections with them."
"I'm falling in love with them," I whispered, a little surprised by my answer. It was true, even if it was happening in small measures, it was only a matter of momentum now. Amon's expression shuttered, eyes flicking away, and I pushed. "I imagine I'll fall in love with you, as long as us moving forward doesn't jeopardize the same with the others."
Amon's throat flexed with a swallow, and he started to step around me, but his hand trailed down my sleeve to catch my fingers in his, tugging me along at his side as he headed back for the house. I caught a trembling breath, hurrying my steps and clutching the back of his jacket as I followed. The conversation had been fragile, little tiptoes of meaning and hope, but I'd been honest, and I tried to remind myself that it would be better to know if Amon couldn't stand sharing me than to let it drag on and create friction with the others.
We walked inside, ducking through the patio door and into a library. I blinked and squinted against the sudden loss of sunlight until Amon guided me to a seat on a couch, cushions warm from the sun through the window. He knelt in front of me, and as my eyes readjusted, I reached up to smooth the furrow on his brow.
"You're right of course. You aren't worth waiting for because you're easily bought," Amon said.
I held my breath, hoping this was turning in the direction I wanted, sliding my hands up to fist at his collar as if I could keep him from leaving me this way.
"I do want what you're offering, you understand that, don't you?" I whispered. "It's just—"
"I understand, my star. And you're offering more than I'd predicted too. I will adjust and learn. I can't argue that you deserve all the love you want to claim for yourself. Now, tell me again that you'll fall in love with me," he said, and even though his smile was sly, there was a tremble on his mouth that made me ache.
I dove down and steadied it with a press of my lips to his, and Amon rose higher on his knees, pushing back into the kiss, his hands pulling my hips forward.
"Be good," I said, nipping his lips and grinning. "Be kind to the others, and stern with me."
"Indulgent," he argued with a soft growl.
"Both. Offer me gifts and then wrestle me into them when I protest. Tie me to the bed when I stay up too late."
"Esther," Amon snarled, rising and pushing me down into the cushions of the couch as I laughed.
"Make me scream your name when I've been too busy to kiss you, oh!"
Amon stole my breath in a deep kiss, leaping gracefully onto the couch, stretching out above me and caging me within the frame of his arms and legs. His mouth moved to my throat, finding the mark Ezra had left when I'd returned to Rooksgrave, and laving at the spot.
"What else?" he purred.
"Don't give Booker orders, he's not my servant," I gasped out, arching my neck. "Tease Ezra and tell him off for stealing, but try to remember how alike he and I are."
Amon grunted, fingers unbuttoning the high collar of my dress so he could kiss more skin. "Shall I give him pretty presents as I do with you?"
I giggled, sliding my hands under Amon's coat to stroke his chest through the linen of his shirt. "Let me watch if you do."
"And the others?"
"Learn from them," I whispered, Amon freezing under my touch. I thought that might be the riskiest request, after talking to Auguste about the social ranks last night. Amon was at the top, which meant Auguste was probably the next closest in his rank and still far below according to Auguste himself.