I winced and took a deep breath, staring blindly in his direction before turning back to Amon, lifting my chin to meet his gaze. "I enjoyed myself. I usually do with this sort of thing. I don't want to disappoint you or Magdalena, but I…I don't regret what I did."
The room was quiet in response for a moment, and then Amon's eyes narrowed at me, Magdalena took a deep breath, and there was a soft touch of fingertips grazing up the back of my hand toward my wrist. Ezra's touch, warm and what I'd been missing since he'd thrown himself from the bed.
"I see," Amon said, frowning and head tipping. "And if this wastrel had been your client and I had been the interloper?"
Heat rose to my cheeks as I recalled the dream I'd shared with Amon, how I had begged for him to taste me.
"I'm sure I would've done the same thing," I said.
Ezra only chucked, and surprisingly, Amon's lips twitched.
"This doesn't change the circumstances, Mr. MacKenna. You are not a member of Rooksgrave Manor—"
"But—" Ezra and I both said at the same time.
"I will look into the matter of your application," Magdalena continued, arching an eyebrow. "As well as this inconvenient invisibility. If you agree to keep out of the manor in the meantime, and I do include the grounds in this, I will do my utmost to offer you our membership as well as place you with Esther."
"Do you not require her clients' agreement in this?" Amon barked, head whipping and dark hair catching the light with the movement.
Magdalena's shoulders squared in her seat as she looked up at Amon. "I do. She only has a formal arrangement with Auguste Thibodeaux at the moment. You've barely had your introduction, Amon."
Amon stiffened, and I thought I caught a flush of anger or shame in his cheeks.
"As you know, the final decisions always rest in the hands of my ladies," Magdalena said primly, catching my eye.
My chest was tight, my blush hot on my cheeks. It felt a little ridiculous to be called a lady in this moment. In spite of the embarrassment and discomfort I'd left Magdalena in, she'd supported me and my right to choose, even in the face of a man like Amon.
"Now, Mr. MacKenna, I think it would be best if you were escorted off the premises for the time being, and we gave Esther and Amon a moment to themselves. Booker, if you would be so kind?"
Booker, my steady shadow, stepped out and reached out a hand in Ezra's direction, although it was clear he had no clear sense of where the man was until there was a soft thump against his palm and it closed.
"I'll see you soon, puisín," Ezra whispered, lips brushing my cheek as Magdalena stood from her seat.
Amon snarled and glared in the invisible man's direction, hands fisted at his own sides. He tracked the movement of the three as they left the room, and I fidgeted in place, not certain what I wanted to say or even if I still wanted to be here with this man.
"I am sorry," I said.
"For getting caught," Amon bit out.
I couldn't deny that, and I ducked my head. "For upsetting you too."
Amon sighed and stepped closer to me, his hands loosening at his side. He smelled fragrant, spicy and heady, and he looked entirely out of place in Magdalena's cluttered, homey office. There was a shimmer around him, the haze of sunlight in the desert, even now that we were here in this dreary, cold setting.
"Please, little star, look at me," Amon said gently, at last sounding like the man I'd met in my dream.
I was mid breath as I lifted my head, and it froze in my lungs abruptly. Amon was exquisite, and his gaze was warm on my face. I wanted to curl into him, erase the events of the past hour, and pick up where we'd left off in my dream.
"Why would you waste your time with a man like that, when I am here to treat you like a queen, little star?" Amon asked.
His tone was syrupy and smooth, the heat of his stare burning through me, but the words themselves made me frown. I blinked, clearing away some of the daze of attraction, and puzzled over the question.
Magdalena had agreed that I'd made a mess of things, but she hadn't said I'd really done anything wrong. Amon had been the one who'd surprised me and then been angry to find me in bed with someone. I wasn't blameless, I knew that. And maybe Ezra was just a scoundrel, but…
"Because I'm not a queen. I'm just a girl who loves fucking," I said, the words plain and awkward in response to his romantic tone.
He made a soft sound between choking and laughing, and a hand reached up between us to cup my jaw. "You are a great deal more than that."
I frowned at being corrected, but Amon leaned forward and kissed the spot between my eyebrows, surrounding me in the heat and rich flavor of himself.
"I will…return tomorrow. We can begin anew then," Amon said, full lips brushing against my brow. So settled and sure. It was tempting to go along with him for the sake of it, and I found myself nodding as he drew away.
Amon had already left by the time Booker and Magdalena returned. I told them of Amon's plans and Magdalena nodded.
"I noted the determination and pride in him when I was looking for his match. He suits with the others, but if you have any doubts, you needn't keep him," she said, watching me.
I did have doubts, but they had more to do with myself. "Are you sure I'm the right sort of girl for this place?"
Magdalena stopped still, hands frozen on her waist and eyebrows hitching higher. "Darling, I'm not sure there's ever been a girl better suited to this manor."
"But—"