TWENTY-THREE
They had one day left before they’d have to get in Frankie and race against the other teams. They’d either die or win. There was no other option.
Jo and Nic were going over the checks for Frankie before she was going to be carted to the track and readied to race. There wasn’t much time left for adjustments, only enough to make sure Frankie had all the fluids and functions she needed. Jo was under the hood, checking the oil, when she realized just how thick the tension was around them. They hadn’t talked about last night, hadn’t brought it up, but it was sitting in the corner of Jo’s mind. They’d had sex, but it had been more than that. There was a connection between them now that hadn’t been there before. Had she accepted him fully as her mate? Was Luna at work again? Were his marks still as evident as her own?
As she finished checking the oil and dropped the hood, Nic stood staring at her on the other side.
“What?” she asked, her voice softer than it normally was.
“You know, ten years ago, when we first met, I was afraid of losing my freedom. After I messed things up and realized my mistake, I worried I would smother you if I came back around, that you would feel forced to give up on your dreams, so I stayed away. I saw your vibrant ambition, saw that determination, and realized I would be holding you back.”
“The only way you could have held me back was if you refused to let me chase that dream.”
“Fated Mates are a blessing, but it’s an all-encompassing one. I didn’t want you to get distracted and focus on me instead. It was easier to let you hate me, and in that, I began to hate myself.” Nic shook his head. “I made a mistake and it’s been haunting me for ten years, begging me to tell you I was an idiot and that I wanted to make it up to you, but I know I don’t really deserve that either.”
Jo watched him, her own fear in her throat, and she couldn’t tell if he was sincere or not. He looked sincere, but her anxiety told her to be wary, to tread carefully. “You’ve always been rumored to choose the right words—”
“They’re not just words,” Nic interrupted. “Jo, I’ve followed your accomplishments since the beginning. I followed you through college, cheering you on. Hell, I even went to your graduation.”
Jo blinked. “I didn’t see you.”
“I didn’t want you to,” Nic said. “Besides looking like a stalker if you’d known, I just wanted to support you from afar, knowing I wasn’t needed in your life. But, Luna, did I want you. I still do. I ache with it. I yearn for you. I’m desperate to make you believe how sorry I am, that I couldn’t be there for you since the beginning, that I wasn’t brave enough to love you properly since the very first moment we met.”
Love. Jo’s throat closed and true panic set in. “This really isn’t the time. . .”
“When is the time?” Nic asked seriously. “After we die in the games tomorrow? After someone sends an assassin to take us out? We have a lot of people determined to see the wolves fail, Jo. I’d like to tell you how I feel before then.”
She stared at him, accessing, trying her hardest to push down the panic in her throat, the desperate need to run. Despite that, she felt the need to set her boundaries in case she could push things down. “None of this changes things. I still need to win, and my business will grow.”
“I’m not trying to hold you back. I’m just asking for you to give me a chance to stand at your side and cheer you on as you continue to be the badass you are.” He reached forward and took her hand, the warmth enveloping her fingers.
Hesitation had her saying, “But what if you decide this isn’t what you want?” Fear added, “what if I’m not what you want?”
“I’ve known you were exactly what I wanted since the first time I laid eyes on you, Jo. I was scared then, too, and I’m sorry that I made you feel as if you weren’t important to me all these years. I’m not asking for you to profess your love or make any promises. I’m just asking for a chance. Just one.”
Jo was silent, staring at him, studying his eyes. For several long minutes, there were no words, simply her calculating in her mind. Finally, her decision made, she squeezed his fingers.
“We win this race, I expect a date,” she said. “A nice one.”
“Done,” he answered, the most beautiful grin appearing on his face.
“And you have to dress up in a suit. It’s mandatory.”
“No problem at all.” Nic’s grin widened.
“And we just take it one step at a time,” Jo added. “No instant marriage. No demands. Just one step at a time.”
“I won’t smother you,” Nic said seriously. “Scout’s honor.”
Jo snorted. “You were never a boy scout.”
“Only because I was already good at everything they learned. I would have made the best boy scout.”
Laughing, Jo bumped her shoulder against his. “We have a lot of work to do,” she said seriously.
His smile softened. “I know. I have a lot to make up for. I just want to show you that I’m here for you, no matter what.”
Jo sighed. “Okay. We race tomorrow. We win, and then afterward, we’re going on a fancy date.”
Nodding, he said, “It’s a deal.”
And then they lapsed into comfortable silence while they finished the checks on Frankie, content.
For the first time in ten years, the fear Jo felt when it came to Nicolas Olcan eased just a little.